A Tony Writes:
The life of a Mirror columnist can't be easy. Week in, week out, you slave away at your article for a few pounds to supplement your flagging literary career. But damn the money - it is the recognition of his peers that every journalist requires. So congratulations to Tony who was bestowed with an award for his sterling work in 2005. In recognition of his ability to not only provide an incredibly simplified insight of current events, but also to join imaginary dots and predict the future, Tony won the Mystic Mogg award from Private Eye magazine for his "Lock-of-the-week" prediction that Germaine Greer would win the last Celebrity Big Brother. She left the house the next day.
Parsons of the Week
Hello, it's Jack Parsons. Jack was a chemical wizzkid whose research into rocket fuel was, literally, one of the main drivers of the space race. However, putting men on the moon was not out-there enough for our Jack. Leaving science behind him, Jack began work on project Babalon, the aim of which was to to create a new age of free love by shattering the confines of four-dimensional space time.Sadly the project failed at the second stage, which apparently involved reproduction between humans and monkeys to create a Moonchild. However, this failure only pushed Jack further. Taking the oath of the Antichrist, Parsons was loosed on the world to do the workings of the Beast 666. Unfortunately his work was cut short when he died in a mysterious explosion at his home. Theories concerning the explosion alledge it was an FBI plot (who had created a 130 page dossier about him), a mystical grudge or due to the large amount of explosives he kept in his garage.
Parsons in Music
Before Christmas we were forming the Greater Parsons Band. Gram was on vocals, Gene from the Byrds was drumming while Alan produced. Sadly, Kenneth wasn't allowed to join due to, as Dave puts it, "All that Mystic bollocks". This week we continue with the formation of the group with the addition of the renowned church organist, James Parsons.
James aims to bring not only his smugness to the group, but also some of the wizardry he has brought to performances in Peterborough of his signature piece "Minor Heroics in D# Major". His pedigree is indisputable, having toured a load of places outside Peterborough (including the unforgettable "No Sleep Till Walsall Tour, '99") and helping St Andrews Church in Helpringham get a new kitchen.
No comments:
Post a Comment