This week we didn't make it to the quiz. Our Sandford friends AA and CP were otherwise engaged in the Lake District, and I was too knackered to do any form of brain wracking. Therefore, our total remains at £26 with perhaps only 1 quiz (plus a potential Christmas special) to boost the curry fund.
Sweet Jesus, was I tired Sunday evening - so much so I could not stay awake to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm on More4. (CYE is one of only three shows that I refuse to miss an episode of. The bit with Larry in the car calling David Schwimmers dad is making me chuckle as I type. This would really annoy Helen if she was here because it appears that I am laughing at nothing. The other two programmes I never miss are HIGNFY and Monday Night Football (i.e. Gridiron) which I video and then watch over the following nights of the week. This too annoys Helen, and may be part of the reason I do it.)
The root of my tiredness was two late nights sandwiching a day Christmas shopping (talking of Christmas, get ready for a special treat through the month of December right here on SYi2!). Friday night was superb - a few pints of home brew (of the delayed drunken effect type) followed by an excellent late night horror movie and a portion of a bottle of Whisky. Perfect. Then I was up early to get into Exeter.
However, during my truncated sleep, I found myself dreaming constantly of Coca Cola, and when I woke I was desperate for some. This is not the first time that coke have used my slightly-drunken slumber to advertise their drink to me. As always the advertising worked and I drank a couple of litres whilst shopping. This amount of sugar placed me in a strange mood where I walked around Exeter trying to convince Helen I was having imaginary phone conversations and using my scarf to pretend I was Seth Conway from Westcountry news interviewing her.
Saturday night involved the cat incident, but I slept ok and I would have been alright had I not agreed to mounting a mirror on the bedroom wall late Sunday afternoon. Why oh why do I try to do DIY at times when I'm least suited to using power tools? Suffice to say I've decided there is no need to mount the mirror to the wall and I've left some holes for Helen to fill.
Anyhow, that's enough of this rambling - well done if you made it to the end. Hopefully AinSQ will return in a fortnight.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Cartoon of the Week - No. 5
Hoorah, so I'm back in Exeter with a delayed edition of Cartoon of the Week.
Today an excerpt from Get Fuzzy, a superb cartoon that takes the Garfield scenario (man talking to cat and dog), updates it and makes it good.
I like a lot of things about the Get Fuzzy strip, which no doubt will come up in future cartoons of the week, but central to it has to be Bucky, the mean-spirited cat.
I am not a cat person, which derives from the fact that a lot of cats don't seem to be a Gary person. From a young age when a friend's cat purposely climbed a high set of curtains to jump on my young head, to the resident uni cat attacking my flapping jean trouser legs, they seem to have something against me. Even when I try to be nice to a cat, it's only a short while before they take my good-natured stroking and throw it back in my face. Or dig their claws into my arm.
An example. Saturday night Helen and I visited our good friends James and Emma in Torquay (that is three Jameses I know that really like cats...hmmmm). James's cat was all friendly pre-pub, purring and the like. On our return from a particularly cold Torquay night out, the cat moved around looking for attention. Next thing I know, the little beggar (as my Grandad refers to the feline) had bitten my thumb. Luckily I had prepared myself for such an eventuality by drinking a few beers, thus dulling the pain, although it equally reduced my reaction time.
It was agreed I had done nothing to instigate the cat attack (or cattack, as I've never called it before), so the only conclusion is that cats are the manifestation of all that is evil, whilst I am goodness, personified in human form. Therefore, the cat and I must remain mortal enemies. That, or I smell of Whiskas.
Category: Cartoon
Today an excerpt from Get Fuzzy, a superb cartoon that takes the Garfield scenario (man talking to cat and dog), updates it and makes it good.
I like a lot of things about the Get Fuzzy strip, which no doubt will come up in future cartoons of the week, but central to it has to be Bucky, the mean-spirited cat.
I am not a cat person, which derives from the fact that a lot of cats don't seem to be a Gary person. From a young age when a friend's cat purposely climbed a high set of curtains to jump on my young head, to the resident uni cat attacking my flapping jean trouser legs, they seem to have something against me. Even when I try to be nice to a cat, it's only a short while before they take my good-natured stroking and throw it back in my face. Or dig their claws into my arm.
An example. Saturday night Helen and I visited our good friends James and Emma in Torquay (that is three Jameses I know that really like cats...hmmmm). James's cat was all friendly pre-pub, purring and the like. On our return from a particularly cold Torquay night out, the cat moved around looking for attention. Next thing I know, the little beggar (as my Grandad refers to the feline) had bitten my thumb. Luckily I had prepared myself for such an eventuality by drinking a few beers, thus dulling the pain, although it equally reduced my reaction time.
It was agreed I had done nothing to instigate the cat attack (or cattack, as I've never called it before), so the only conclusion is that cats are the manifestation of all that is evil, whilst I am goodness, personified in human form. Therefore, the cat and I must remain mortal enemies. That, or I smell of Whiskas.
Category: Cartoon
Monday, November 28, 2005
Quick
A very quick post, created on someone else's computer at a company I'm visiting today. I've not missed a post on a weekday yet and I'm not going to let being in Gloucester stop me!
Friday, November 25, 2005
Parsons Watch - Episode 3
Hello and welcome to Parsons Watch.
Tony Writes:
Eek. I knew Tony's column was bad - that's the whole reason I keep an eye on it - but this week is a particularly poor one. Let's see what he's been up to.
- Oh dear. This week Tony presents an argument for the reinstatement of the death penalty. It is maybe the worst written pieces of comment I've seen for a long while.
- He launches an attack on Newsnight Review - a programme that he's been on "100 times". Er, I'm guessing that they've not asked him to do it again?
- He states Madonna's not sexy.
Parsons of the Week:
A special Parsons of the week as we meet our first Gary Parsons. Gary is an associate librarian at Florida Atlantic University. Among Gary's interests are the uses of computers in libraries, alternative energies, librarians, and librarianship. Gary graduated with a masters in Library Science.
You could say he sleeps, breathes and eats libraries, but you would be wrong - he also enjoys water sports, so there.
***Parsons in Music***
Allow me to introduce you to Kenneth John Parsons, A.K.A. Inexplicata Music. With his music, Ken aims to explore the paranormal. Through tracks such as "Womb Tomb", "Kosmik Kalypso" and "Deep Marine Space Dive", Inexplicata will place you in an Altered State of Mind where you may even happen upon an OBE - Out of Body Experience. So why not order up a copy of "The Hyades Electro-Suite" direct from Ken.
Alternatively you could buy a Casio keyboard, set it to voice number 72 "Ghost Strings" and hold down various notes for a few hours whilst trying to grow a beard. I know I do.
Parsons Word Fact: A common vegetable based nickname for a person with the surname Parsons is Parsnip.
Tony Writes:
Eek. I knew Tony's column was bad - that's the whole reason I keep an eye on it - but this week is a particularly poor one. Let's see what he's been up to.- Oh dear. This week Tony presents an argument for the reinstatement of the death penalty. It is maybe the worst written pieces of comment I've seen for a long while.
- He launches an attack on Newsnight Review - a programme that he's been on "100 times". Er, I'm guessing that they've not asked him to do it again?
- He states Madonna's not sexy.
Parsons of the Week:
A special Parsons of the week as we meet our first Gary Parsons. Gary is an associate librarian at Florida Atlantic University. Among Gary's interests are the uses of computers in libraries, alternative energies, librarians, and librarianship. Gary graduated with a masters in Library Science. You could say he sleeps, breathes and eats libraries, but you would be wrong - he also enjoys water sports, so there.
***Parsons in Music***
Allow me to introduce you to Kenneth John Parsons, A.K.A. Inexplicata Music. With his music, Ken aims to explore the paranormal. Through tracks such as "Womb Tomb", "Kosmik Kalypso" and "Deep Marine Space Dive", Inexplicata will place you in an Altered State of Mind where you may even happen upon an OBE - Out of Body Experience. So why not order up a copy of "The Hyades Electro-Suite" direct from Ken.
Alternatively you could buy a Casio keyboard, set it to voice number 72 "Ghost Strings" and hold down various notes for a few hours whilst trying to grow a beard. I know I do.
Parsons Word Fact: A common vegetable based nickname for a person with the surname Parsons is Parsnip.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
The Sights of Exeter
Just enjoyed a lunch with my brother in town. Walking to the St George's Meeting House (where, by the way, they were interviewing people about the 24-hour licencing - yawn) I saw a girl with a rabbit on a lead. She was taking her rabbit for a walk in the middle of Exeter city centre like it was a dog. Crazy.
I now know why people have camaras on their mobiles.
I now know why people have camaras on their mobiles.
Tron
For me, the best thing about Science Fiction is not the books and films, of which I have only a passing interest, but rather the fans of the genre. They'll queue in sub-zero conditions to watch incredibly average movies, write God-awful fan-fiction or spend hours searching ebay for episodes of BattleEarth Enterprise on Betamax.
However, the real cream of the crop are those that take it a little bit further.
Take the fans of the movie Tron. Tron is a very, very strange movie and one that I never really understood. This is largely due to me only ever seeing the second half of it, but still, I think that it is agreed that it is a little "out-there". One defining aspect of the movie is the suits worn by Jeff "The Dude" Bridges et al., so it would only be expected that the true Tron-fan would want to recreate the attire so that he/she can impress fellow Tronites at conventions and the like.
Enter Jay Maynard.
Jay found to his dismay that Tron suits were not made to fit his, er, physique, so he set about making his own. This manufacturing process is documented in all of its dubious glory on his website, Tron Guy. Even now, a year after I first happened on the site, it still makes me laugh, although due to the nature of the costume, and Jay's, er, physique, just be warned before you venture into his world.
Category:Film
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Sarah Jessica Parker's Lovely
Everything about the new Sarah Jessica Perfume advert annoys me.
Firstly the name, Lovely, is rubbish. Really rubbish. It's self-promotion so that people who talk about the perfume will automatically make the connection between SJP and all things good, wholesome and sweet. Yuk. And even if this isn't the plan, which it is, calling something Lovely is just lazy and will create no end of problems, thus:
Man (Smelling air around female companion): What are you wearing, it's lovely?
Woman: Yeah, it is.
Man: So what is it?
Woman: Lovely.
Man: I know it is. But what is the perfume?
Woman: It is Lovely.
Man: Yes. But what is it?
Woman: You're dumped.
Etc etc.
Secondly, the advert uses SJP's face. Something that has bugged me for a long time was a conversation, no, argument, I had in a pub when I was an undergraduate. 4 girls took extreme offence to me refering to SJP as a bit moose-like. "But she's beautiful" they screamed, "She's so gorgeous". "Men know nothing about what a good looking woman looks like." they admonished, firmly putting me in no doubt that I was as wrong for questioning the "looks" of SJP.
Now I'll admit that I have, in the past, made judgement on things that I'm not totally qualified to pass judgement on. However, I think that as a man I am in some position to judge the attractiveness of a female. And in SJPs case, she is definitely not what my dad would call a looker. The problem is, the advert accentuates her craggy face by trying to make her look attractive. She gurns in an attempt to look what I'm guessing is sultry, but comes across as being more suited to an advert for Syrup of Figs.
Apparently $20 million was spent on the marketing for this campaign. Wow.
Category:Advert
Firstly the name, Lovely, is rubbish. Really rubbish. It's self-promotion so that people who talk about the perfume will automatically make the connection between SJP and all things good, wholesome and sweet. Yuk. And even if this isn't the plan, which it is, calling something Lovely is just lazy and will create no end of problems, thus:
Man (Smelling air around female companion): What are you wearing, it's lovely?
Woman: Yeah, it is.
Man: So what is it?
Woman: Lovely.
Man: I know it is. But what is the perfume?
Woman: It is Lovely.
Man: Yes. But what is it?
Woman: You're dumped.
Etc etc.
Secondly, the advert uses SJP's face. Something that has bugged me for a long time was a conversation, no, argument, I had in a pub when I was an undergraduate. 4 girls took extreme offence to me refering to SJP as a bit moose-like. "But she's beautiful" they screamed, "She's so gorgeous". "Men know nothing about what a good looking woman looks like." they admonished, firmly putting me in no doubt that I was as wrong for questioning the "looks" of SJP.
Now I'll admit that I have, in the past, made judgement on things that I'm not totally qualified to pass judgement on. However, I think that as a man I am in some position to judge the attractiveness of a female. And in SJPs case, she is definitely not what my dad would call a looker. The problem is, the advert accentuates her craggy face by trying to make her look attractive. She gurns in an attempt to look what I'm guessing is sultry, but comes across as being more suited to an advert for Syrup of Figs.
Apparently $20 million was spent on the marketing for this campaign. Wow.
Category:Advert
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Dogtanian
I like pubs, and one that will always be remembered with fondness is Exeter University's Ram Bar. However, it does have one major drawback: it is full almost exclusively with students. Now students constitute some of the most annoying members of society, but what really gets me is that they consistently and relentlessly get younger and younger, serving as a reminder that I am indeed getting older and those days are slipping further behind me.
Now what really rubs it in is when you sit next to a group who are loudly reminiscing about what was around when they were young, which with the current group of first years was when I was approximately thirteen. Because this annoys me so much, I decided to try and keep nostalgia in my blog to a minimum. However, yesterday in Cartoon of the Week, I remembered the shows of my youth, and in particular Dogtanian. Like all people who have too much time on their hands, I googled the show and found a fan website dedicated to it.
After a quick listen to the theme tune and a view at some of the high fashion available:
I happened across a "Which character are you?" test. How could I resist? I always thought of myself as perhaps the dashing Aramis or even the noble Porthos. So I honestly fill out the questions (I'd only be cheating myself) and click the submit button.
And which dog character most matches my personality?
Juliette.
I've been called a lot of things by internet personality tests, but a female fox?? I've never thought of myself as a Pacino or De Niro, but I did think that perhaps my main traits might have been at least male. But I'm not worried, I'm secure in my masculinity. Now excuse me while I go listen to some Led Zepplin, check out some rugby scores and eat some pork scratchings.
Category:TV
Now what really rubs it in is when you sit next to a group who are loudly reminiscing about what was around when they were young, which with the current group of first years was when I was approximately thirteen. Because this annoys me so much, I decided to try and keep nostalgia in my blog to a minimum. However, yesterday in Cartoon of the Week, I remembered the shows of my youth, and in particular Dogtanian. Like all people who have too much time on their hands, I googled the show and found a fan website dedicated to it.
After a quick listen to the theme tune and a view at some of the high fashion available:
I happened across a "Which character are you?" test. How could I resist? I always thought of myself as perhaps the dashing Aramis or even the noble Porthos. So I honestly fill out the questions (I'd only be cheating myself) and click the submit button.
And which dog character most matches my personality?
Juliette.
I've been called a lot of things by internet personality tests, but a female fox?? I've never thought of myself as a Pacino or De Niro, but I did think that perhaps my main traits might have been at least male. But I'm not worried, I'm secure in my masculinity. Now excuse me while I go listen to some Led Zepplin, check out some rugby scores and eat some pork scratchings.
Category:TV
Monday, November 21, 2005
Cartoon of the Week - No. 4
Doonesbury is one of the great American comic strips, using an excellent set of characters built up over thirty years. Although the best of Doonesbury is when the characters are involved with real world issues (the series with B.D. in Iraq has, in my opinion, provided some of the best commentary on the war), todays choice is a bit lighter.
This strip remainds me of wet summer days spent with my brother and a Spectrum. We'd get an early start at 7am, catching the end of an episode of Pole Position or Top Banana followed by Dogtanian and breakfast over the Racoons. Then select the game for the day and start the Spectrum loading. Watch some more t.v. and then when it had loaded, settle down for a day of solid football management. This would normally end in tears at about 6:30 in the evening when my brother would finally crack under the pressure of managing Exeter City and pull the plug from the wall. Once he screamed "What have I ever done to God? Why won't he let me get promoted?".
Nowadays I rarely play computer games, mainly for the reason that like Jeff in the above strip, I go into a stupor where I find it really difficult to talk to anyone outside of the game. This really annoys wives, who will find an increasing number of jobs to do that involve walking and indeed standing between tv and gamer. This then invariably esculates into a row in which I have no standing ("er, Yes I'm being lazy and I wasn't listening to you, but , like, I've only been playing for two hours while you um, cleaned the guttering, moved our mortgage and settled a boundary dispute between three sets of neighbours"). I find winning arguments hard enough as it is without giving my wife a large headstart, so my gaming days are more or less over.
Category: Cartoon
This strip remainds me of wet summer days spent with my brother and a Spectrum. We'd get an early start at 7am, catching the end of an episode of Pole Position or Top Banana followed by Dogtanian and breakfast over the Racoons. Then select the game for the day and start the Spectrum loading. Watch some more t.v. and then when it had loaded, settle down for a day of solid football management. This would normally end in tears at about 6:30 in the evening when my brother would finally crack under the pressure of managing Exeter City and pull the plug from the wall. Once he screamed "What have I ever done to God? Why won't he let me get promoted?".
Nowadays I rarely play computer games, mainly for the reason that like Jeff in the above strip, I go into a stupor where I find it really difficult to talk to anyone outside of the game. This really annoys wives, who will find an increasing number of jobs to do that involve walking and indeed standing between tv and gamer. This then invariably esculates into a row in which I have no standing ("er, Yes I'm being lazy and I wasn't listening to you, but , like, I've only been playing for two hours while you um, cleaned the guttering, moved our mortgage and settled a boundary dispute between three sets of neighbours"). I find winning arguments hard enough as it is without giving my wife a large headstart, so my gaming days are more or less over.
Category: Cartoon
Friday, November 18, 2005
Getting Old?
Two random blogs I got sent to:
I think they're in English, but they make my head hurt and my eyes start watering. Is this what kids are talking like nowadays? Crikey, I'm feeling older than my meagre 26-years.
The Flaming Lips
After the slight barracking I received from one quarter earlier this week for expressing an interest in the Strokes's new material, here is something that is hopefully a bit more palatable for certain people.
The excellent Flaming Lips have a planned new album called "At War with the Mystics" pencilled for release sometime around April next year. A fine video for one track off the album (or under consideration), "You've Got to Hold On" can be found here - thanks to The Merry Swankster for the link. Something to look forward to next year already.
Category:Music
The excellent Flaming Lips have a planned new album called "At War with the Mystics" pencilled for release sometime around April next year. A fine video for one track off the album (or under consideration), "You've Got to Hold On" can be found here - thanks to The Merry Swankster for the link. Something to look forward to next year already.
Category:Music
Parsons Watch - Episode 2
Hoorah - it's Friday, and that can mean only one thing here on See You in 2..., it's time to see what's been going on in the world of Parsons.
Tony Writes:
Let us take a look at the view from the top of Tony's column.
- Only God truly knows how long the police need to hold terror suspects without pressing charges. (Maybe he told George W. - the US have a 7-day period).
- Fiona Bruce is set to hit the big time
- Shop girls are just as good as lawyers. (I think this is meant to be a compliment)
Parsons of the Week:
This is Matt Parsons, a computer programmer. He is known within IT circles as Crazy Matt due to the hi-jinx that he gets upto. Some of his most memorable stunts include:
Switching the monitor leads on his 3 friends' computers (hilarious)
Strawpedoing a bottle of lucozade, followed by a Tab chaser (unhinged)
Asking a girl out on a date (unprecedented)
***Parsons Music Hall of Fame***
This week sees Alan Parsons join inaugral inductee Gram Parsons as a member of the Parsons Music Hall of Fame.
Alan overcame his beard affliction to work on some of the all-time great albums, including Abbey Road and Dark Side of the Moon. However, after working with Wings, Alan got the idea that he too could make his own records and so began his Prog Odyssey, or Progyssey. Albums from his 30 years journeying through synth-landscapes include his interpretations of Poe and Asminov, plus the classic exploration of telephone conversations, Ammonia Avenue.
Today he remains one of the hairiest Parsons in all of rock.
Parsons Word Fact: An anagram of Parsons is "Ass Porn".
Tony Writes:
Let us take a look at the view from the top of Tony's column.
- Only God truly knows how long the police need to hold terror suspects without pressing charges. (Maybe he told George W. - the US have a 7-day period).
- Fiona Bruce is set to hit the big time
- Shop girls are just as good as lawyers. (I think this is meant to be a compliment)
Parsons of the Week:
This is Matt Parsons, a computer programmer. He is known within IT circles as Crazy Matt due to the hi-jinx that he gets upto. Some of his most memorable stunts include:Switching the monitor leads on his 3 friends' computers (hilarious)
Strawpedoing a bottle of lucozade, followed by a Tab chaser (unhinged)
Asking a girl out on a date (unprecedented)
***Parsons Music Hall of Fame***
This week sees Alan Parsons join inaugral inductee Gram Parsons as a member of the Parsons Music Hall of Fame.
Alan overcame his beard affliction to work on some of the all-time great albums, including Abbey Road and Dark Side of the Moon. However, after working with Wings, Alan got the idea that he too could make his own records and so began his Prog Odyssey, or Progyssey. Albums from his 30 years journeying through synth-landscapes include his interpretations of Poe and Asminov, plus the classic exploration of telephone conversations, Ammonia Avenue.
Today he remains one of the hairiest Parsons in all of rock.
Parsons Word Fact: An anagram of Parsons is "Ass Porn".
Thursday, November 17, 2005
He-Man in One of the Best Films Ever!
This one is especially for Mr G. I don't know if you've seen it before (I hadn't), but I think you might enjoy it. Two super quality vids in two days - I'm on fire!
Watch the Movie
There's a couple of sets of ads to get through, but stick with it - its well worth it.
Category:Funny
Watch the Movie
There's a couple of sets of ads to get through, but stick with it - its well worth it.
Category:Funny
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
He-Man Sings!
Reading a friend's blog reminded me of a video that I saw back in September that made me laugh a lot, mixing together beautifully my nostalgia for the mid to late 80s and penchant for ridiculous silliness (as opposed to the none ridiculous kind). Watch it here.
Note to self - must stop using the word penchant
Category:Funny
Sainsburys
One of the great innovations for supermarkets over the past decade or so has been the successful launch of storecards. Whereas before the supermarkets had to go and collect their information through boring market research methods like everyone else, they now have a complete record of everyone's spending trends connected to personal information and population demographics. So they give back a bit (about 1%) - a small price to pay for the economic benefits that having an endlessly analysable set of data brings.
This is hardly ground-breaking stuff, but Sainsbury's latest, and pretty successful, advertising campaign is perhaps the first time that there's been such a blatant use of storecard data. From the information they've garnered from their Nectar card system, Sainsbury's know that a lot of people that are pretty well-off shop in their stores. However, they just keep buying the same old products. Is that an opportunity for a new ad-campaign I see?
Sainsburys decide to tell us, in the nicest possible way, that we are sooo boooring. And there's no denying - stats never lie. They get Jimbo Oliver to use nutmeg on Spag Bol - "Go on" he says "Try it. It's amazingly pukka", like he's giving away the recipe for Ambrosia Custard (living in Devon, I know why it's so creamy - believe me, it should definitely stay secret). The ad works.
However, their radio advert shows that a good idea can be stretched too far. "We know that you boys like your beer", says a young lady, "so with Carling, Carlsberg and John Smiths all on offer, why not try something different?"
Eh? How many men stolidly buy Fosters, eyeing suspiciously those green cans of funny-looking Danish lager? Has anyone ever thought, "Hmmm, I'm going to go crazy and try some heavily processed bitter?" It's such a stupid, stupid advert that I can only think that it was thought up by a tee-total idiot. I can think of no other explanation.
Category:Advert
This is hardly ground-breaking stuff, but Sainsbury's latest, and pretty successful, advertising campaign is perhaps the first time that there's been such a blatant use of storecard data. From the information they've garnered from their Nectar card system, Sainsbury's know that a lot of people that are pretty well-off shop in their stores. However, they just keep buying the same old products. Is that an opportunity for a new ad-campaign I see?
Sainsburys decide to tell us, in the nicest possible way, that we are sooo boooring. And there's no denying - stats never lie. They get Jimbo Oliver to use nutmeg on Spag Bol - "Go on" he says "Try it. It's amazingly pukka", like he's giving away the recipe for Ambrosia Custard (living in Devon, I know why it's so creamy - believe me, it should definitely stay secret). The ad works.
However, their radio advert shows that a good idea can be stretched too far. "We know that you boys like your beer", says a young lady, "so with Carling, Carlsberg and John Smiths all on offer, why not try something different?"
Eh? How many men stolidly buy Fosters, eyeing suspiciously those green cans of funny-looking Danish lager? Has anyone ever thought, "Hmmm, I'm going to go crazy and try some heavily processed bitter?" It's such a stupid, stupid advert that I can only think that it was thought up by a tee-total idiot. I can think of no other explanation.
Category:Advert
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
The Strokes
I seem to be well behind some people on this, but the Strokes have got a new song doing the rounds called Juice Box. The video was shown last night on Channel 4, but for people like me who missed it there and haven't heard it yet might want to mosy over to the recommendable Filter Magazine and have a listen.
Actually having a look around, I see that Jo Whiley had it as a record of the week back in October and the song was available from the Strokes's website back in September.
Ho hum - finger on the musical pulse here.
However, I've wrote this now and I'm going to post it anyway. Opinions on the track/prospects of the album out in 2006 anyone?
Category:Music
Actually having a look around, I see that Jo Whiley had it as a record of the week back in October and the song was available from the Strokes's website back in September.
Ho hum - finger on the musical pulse here.
However, I've wrote this now and I'm going to post it anyway. Opinions on the track/prospects of the album out in 2006 anyone?
Category:Music
Postcard
Mrs P's parents have been on an extended holiday to Australia since late September. During stays with family they've had access to email, and every week or so they relay what they've been up to. However, the email is a bit of a cheat when it comes to holiday correspondence - they look the same wherever they are sent from.
What is required is a pictorial representation of the country or area that the tourist is staying in. The picture should say "Look how beautiful it is where we are. We know that you are having cold, wet weather, so look at the blue skies and sun-licked world famous sights and imagine for a couple of seconds that you are somewhere else". Hence the invention of the pictoral postcard in ages of yore.
Today we received a postcard from Mrs Ps parents. It was slightly disappointing, thus:
The postcard fails on a number of counts.
1. It could be from anywhere - if I was to hazard a guess I would have said Beaulieu in Hampshire or one of those rubbishy theme parks that is used to advertise Westcountry weather.
2. It hardly shows off Australia - Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Opera House, Ayres Rock, etc. etc. No. The back end of some cars at a Car Museum.
3. It's inside. Therefore, I feel no jealousy over the weather - it looks like the kind of thing that I would have ended up doing with my family on a typical British summer's day in the early/mid-90s.
4. It's not even a good picture of some cars.
On the postcard Mrs Ps mum states "Lovely scenery" and "Weather is sunny and warm", and that the "car museum was empty wherever we go."
What is required is a pictorial representation of the country or area that the tourist is staying in. The picture should say "Look how beautiful it is where we are. We know that you are having cold, wet weather, so look at the blue skies and sun-licked world famous sights and imagine for a couple of seconds that you are somewhere else". Hence the invention of the pictoral postcard in ages of yore.
Today we received a postcard from Mrs Ps parents. It was slightly disappointing, thus:
The postcard fails on a number of counts.
1. It could be from anywhere - if I was to hazard a guess I would have said Beaulieu in Hampshire or one of those rubbishy theme parks that is used to advertise Westcountry weather.
2. It hardly shows off Australia - Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Opera House, Ayres Rock, etc. etc. No. The back end of some cars at a Car Museum.
3. It's inside. Therefore, I feel no jealousy over the weather - it looks like the kind of thing that I would have ended up doing with my family on a typical British summer's day in the early/mid-90s.
4. It's not even a good picture of some cars.
On the postcard Mrs Ps mum states "Lovely scenery" and "Weather is sunny and warm", and that the "car museum was empty wherever we go."
Monday, November 14, 2005
Adventures in the Sandford Quiz - No 2
So Sunday saw the second of our attempts to generate some curry money for a pre-christmas meal.
After a slow start in Trivia and History rounds, we hit the quiz jackpot with a jokered 12 point music round, doubling up to 24. We then played it safe in the last few rounds to cruise home with a 4 1/2 point vistory. However, our dominating second in-a-row win didn't bring with it the addulation of the rest of the pub, but a rather significant amount of abuse. This made our victory all the sweeter and we shall return in a fortnight to complete our hat-trick.
Reduced prize money (Helen was absent and replaced with a sub) meant we only added £10 to the curry fund, now totalling £26.
To this weeks quiz awards:
* The "Would Never of Got That" Award 32 (How many times around the world would all of the fish fingers ever sold wrap?)
* The "Why Won't You Listen to Me" Award for Most Ignored Answers Subsitute Chrissie, three overuled answers (Longleat, Chameleon, 175 years)
* The "Where Did That Come From" Award Gary again for Sir Francis Chichester - knighted in 1967 with the same sword as Sir Francis Drake
* The Big Al "Are You Sure" Award Allen for Leonardo DiCaprio in identifying the picture below of an Olympian turned Actor. He was pretty certain until the real answer of Johnny Weismuller, Tarzan actor, was given. Our written answer of Marlon Brando wasn't much better, but at least it was in the right era. Allen claims to have 20-20 vision.
After a slow start in Trivia and History rounds, we hit the quiz jackpot with a jokered 12 point music round, doubling up to 24. We then played it safe in the last few rounds to cruise home with a 4 1/2 point vistory. However, our dominating second in-a-row win didn't bring with it the addulation of the rest of the pub, but a rather significant amount of abuse. This made our victory all the sweeter and we shall return in a fortnight to complete our hat-trick.
Reduced prize money (Helen was absent and replaced with a sub) meant we only added £10 to the curry fund, now totalling £26.
To this weeks quiz awards:
* The "Would Never of Got That" Award 32 (How many times around the world would all of the fish fingers ever sold wrap?)
* The "Why Won't You Listen to Me" Award for Most Ignored Answers Subsitute Chrissie, three overuled answers (Longleat, Chameleon, 175 years)
* The "Where Did That Come From" Award Gary again for Sir Francis Chichester - knighted in 1967 with the same sword as Sir Francis Drake
* The Big Al "Are You Sure" Award Allen for Leonardo DiCaprio in identifying the picture below of an Olympian turned Actor. He was pretty certain until the real answer of Johnny Weismuller, Tarzan actor, was given. Our written answer of Marlon Brando wasn't much better, but at least it was in the right era. Allen claims to have 20-20 vision.
Cartoon of the Week - No. 3
Pearls Before Swine provide this week's cartoon.
I like the reference to "stupid" blogging from the excellently mean Rat character, but more so I like the crocodiles inability to work a computer. Inability with computers always makes me chuckle - if you're of a certain age then they are a really alien technology, so perhaps it's a bit cruel to poke fun, but where's the fun in that?
So special mention to a friend of Mrs P's parents who phoned up to enquire if he used coloured fonts in Word, would the ink in his monitor run out? And to Mrs P's mum, who picked up the mouse and pointed it at the monitor like a remote control and said "Why isn't this working?". Ho ho.
Category: Cartoon
I like the reference to "stupid" blogging from the excellently mean Rat character, but more so I like the crocodiles inability to work a computer. Inability with computers always makes me chuckle - if you're of a certain age then they are a really alien technology, so perhaps it's a bit cruel to poke fun, but where's the fun in that?
So special mention to a friend of Mrs P's parents who phoned up to enquire if he used coloured fonts in Word, would the ink in his monitor run out? And to Mrs P's mum, who picked up the mouse and pointed it at the monitor like a remote control and said "Why isn't this working?". Ho ho.
Category: Cartoon
Friday, November 11, 2005
Wolf Parade and Assorted Music Stuff
After the strange 15 minutes that caused me to write the previous post late yesterday afternoon, I thought I would do a posting of a more serious nature.
Today I finally got the Wolf Parade album that I ordered well over a week ago. Hailing from Montreal, Wolf Parade have predictabily been hailed as the new Arcade Fire, which seems ridiculous considering the Fire were virtually unheard of 12 months ago.
Produced by Modest Mouse's Issac Brock, the album "Apologies to the Queen Mary" has picked up some rave reviews, including the hard to please Pitchfork, plus a great deal of hype on the US music scene. However, away from all that in merry-old England, the album just sounds great.
Second bit of music concerns Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!, who despite not having released anything here yet (I don't think) get a Guardian article punning up there name. They've been a real word of mouth success, selling a shed load of albums from there own website before they even got signed. Anyway, they've already sold out half of the gigs of their current Eurotour - although for those lucky enough to live in Nottingham (damn you, lucky James), Cardiff, Glasgow or Liverpool they should be well worth going to see.
Finally, today I feel a whole load older. People over 26 turn away now because I know that there's nothing worst than reading about someone younger than you moaning about how old they feel. This morning I read an Arcade Fire review, from the previously mentioned Uncut Top 50 Albums. Win Butler, lead singer and group leader, was born in 1981. Nineteen. Eighty. One. He is two years younger than me. Now I know this shouldn't suprise me, but it really does - Arcade Fire's music sounds so accomplished and developed that I kind of thought he might be a bit older than me.
Category:Music
Today I finally got the Wolf Parade album that I ordered well over a week ago. Hailing from Montreal, Wolf Parade have predictabily been hailed as the new Arcade Fire, which seems ridiculous considering the Fire were virtually unheard of 12 months ago.
Produced by Modest Mouse's Issac Brock, the album "Apologies to the Queen Mary" has picked up some rave reviews, including the hard to please Pitchfork, plus a great deal of hype on the US music scene. However, away from all that in merry-old England, the album just sounds great.
Second bit of music concerns Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!, who despite not having released anything here yet (I don't think) get a Guardian article punning up there name. They've been a real word of mouth success, selling a shed load of albums from there own website before they even got signed. Anyway, they've already sold out half of the gigs of their current Eurotour - although for those lucky enough to live in Nottingham (damn you, lucky James), Cardiff, Glasgow or Liverpool they should be well worth going to see.
Finally, today I feel a whole load older. People over 26 turn away now because I know that there's nothing worst than reading about someone younger than you moaning about how old they feel. This morning I read an Arcade Fire review, from the previously mentioned Uncut Top 50 Albums. Win Butler, lead singer and group leader, was born in 1981. Nineteen. Eighty. One. He is two years younger than me. Now I know this shouldn't suprise me, but it really does - Arcade Fire's music sounds so accomplished and developed that I kind of thought he might be a bit older than me.
Category:Music
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Parsons Watch
Welcome to the one-stop stop for all things Parsons that could well become weekly: Parsons Watch.
Tony Writes:
Some earth-shaking journalistic insights from Tony's column.
- 112 is a difficult number to remember
- The British cherish failure over success. You want examples, Tony's got them: Eddie the Eagle beats Fred Perry, Charge of the Light Brigade beats Falklands, Simon Dee beats David Frost. QED.
- Fiona Phillips embodies how the UK built a large empire.
Parsons of the Week:
This is Michael Parsons. Professor Michael Parsons, if you don't mind. In 2003 he won the Webb medal for his contributions to ship building. Good for him.
Parsons in Music
This week Gram Parsons the father of alt country-rock. I bought one of his albums just because he was called Parsons. That and I have a not-so-secret-now penchant for country music. Like many people called Parsons, Gram struggled with bad hairstyling before his untimely death (unrelated).
Apparently Gram was born Cecil Ingram Connors, but he still qualifies for the inaugural "Parsons in Music".
Parsons Word Fact: Parsons spelt backwards is Snosrap. This was my dad's nickname at school, so don't tease him about it or he might hit you. Not that he's a violent man.
9 Songs
A friend of mine (who I shall refer to throughout this post as Mr A) came round to my house to help with some rubble-removal. After the kind of strenuous effort that is uncommon to a PhD student, Mr A said, "Me and the missus are going to enjoy a film evening tonight. I'm just going to pop down to the video shop before I go home".
When he gets back I ask him what film he got out.
"Oh, its an exploration of the development of a young couples relationship, soundtracked by modern rock bands."
"Sounds interesting, what's it called?"
"Nine songs, or something."
"Nine Songs?? You do realise that is basically arthouse porn? There is barely a storyline and it contains an unprecedented amount of graphic sex for a British movie." Now for some reason I know a lot about this film, despite never having seen it, nor having sought out information about it.
"Oh really?" Replies Mr A, with mock suprise. "I did not know that. I thought it was just about music, with some relationship stuff for Ms A."
Believing that he had genuinely selected the film with good intentions, I wished him luck in explaining to his girlfriend that he had innocently selected a porn film. On the Monday I found out that Ms A hadn't been too impressed, had reprimanded Mr A and had banned him from ever selecting a film again. I offered my commiserations for what I believed was an honest mistake.
Now I'm not so sure.
Last night I went to the video shop and saw the DVD of 9 Songs on the shelf. I started to question Mr A's innoncence. Firstly, its cover photo is of a young lady in the throes of passion, thus:
Category:Film
When he gets back I ask him what film he got out.
"Oh, its an exploration of the development of a young couples relationship, soundtracked by modern rock bands."
"Sounds interesting, what's it called?"
"Nine songs, or something."
"Nine Songs?? You do realise that is basically arthouse porn? There is barely a storyline and it contains an unprecedented amount of graphic sex for a British movie." Now for some reason I know a lot about this film, despite never having seen it, nor having sought out information about it.
"Oh really?" Replies Mr A, with mock suprise. "I did not know that. I thought it was just about music, with some relationship stuff for Ms A."
Believing that he had genuinely selected the film with good intentions, I wished him luck in explaining to his girlfriend that he had innocently selected a porn film. On the Monday I found out that Ms A hadn't been too impressed, had reprimanded Mr A and had banned him from ever selecting a film again. I offered my commiserations for what I believed was an honest mistake.
Now I'm not so sure.
Last night I went to the video shop and saw the DVD of 9 Songs on the shelf. I started to question Mr A's innoncence. Firstly, its cover photo is of a young lady in the throes of passion, thus:
Ok, so you may gather that the film is a bit passionate. However, a bigger clue can be found emblazoned across the front of this picture."The Most Explicit British Movie EVER!!!", screams some critic. In addition, 2 identical stickers had been placed on the DVD case stating "WARNING: This film contains scenes of an Extremely Explicit Nature". Consider yourself rumbled, Mr A.
Of course, I had to borrow the film so that I could finish off this posting with some kind of comment. There seemed little point to it - the film aims for profundity (with some really cringy quotes), but this just highlights the fact that it says hardly anything about relationships (a crap analogy to Antartica, anyone?). However, it did remind me that I dislike the band Elbow. The sex was pretty explicit, although it was more a "I can't believe this got past the censors" kind-of-thing rather than adding anything to the film. And the female character was the most annoying that I've seen in a film for quite a while. Maybe even back to The Film I Cannot Mention.
Category:Film
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Uncut Magazine
The indications that Christmas is coming have started appearing. At the end of summer, Dingles in town set-up their Christmas tree (they're gonna stop bothering to take it down soon), articles about Christmas lights have started appearing in the local rag and there's a dirth of rubbish adverts on the tele. Unlike some people though, it doesn't really bother me.
However, something that did shock me was Uncut magazine publishing their top 50 albums of the year. Spying the magazine on a recent trip to Somerfields I double-took, comically so. How is it possible to write a top 50 sometime during mid-October? They're going to have to write off nearly a quarter of the year's releases.
But I did buy the darned thing. Why? Because they're actually pretty right (i.e. they agree with me). Arcade Fire at No. 1, Sufjan Stevens at No 2. and Dylan at 3. OK., calling songs first recorded by Bob nearly 50 years ago one of the best new albums may be pushing it, but it is the Year of the Dylan, so I'll forgive them that. In addition there are placings for my other favorites Bright Eyes, Smog, Franz and SFA.
To be honest I'm a sucker for lists, as mentioned previously, and the top albums of the year is one I'm always going to follow. I'd just prefer it if it contained all of the albums from the year. And agreed with me.
Category:Music
However, something that did shock me was Uncut magazine publishing their top 50 albums of the year. Spying the magazine on a recent trip to Somerfields I double-took, comically so. How is it possible to write a top 50 sometime during mid-October? They're going to have to write off nearly a quarter of the year's releases.
But I did buy the darned thing. Why? Because they're actually pretty right (i.e. they agree with me). Arcade Fire at No. 1, Sufjan Stevens at No 2. and Dylan at 3. OK., calling songs first recorded by Bob nearly 50 years ago one of the best new albums may be pushing it, but it is the Year of the Dylan, so I'll forgive them that. In addition there are placings for my other favorites Bright Eyes, Smog, Franz and SFA.
To be honest I'm a sucker for lists, as mentioned previously, and the top albums of the year is one I'm always going to follow. I'd just prefer it if it contained all of the albums from the year. And agreed with me.
Category:Music
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Playstation
The advert: A woman ventures from her bed into the lounge of her flat, still wearing the clothes from the night before. She is ashen faced and her eyes are hollow. The grey lighting tells us she's feeling the full effects of a night of horrible excess.
She surveys the room, shame and pain restricting her to using only one eye. Before her the aftermath of a particularly destructive party - scenes maybe not shown in an advert since the days of the Yellow Pages. Chairs lie upturned and snacks are strewn across the beer-sodden carpet.
Then the flashbacks start.
She's dancing on the table. She's screaming down a karaoke mike. She's gyrating in front of her friends who look on shocked and embarrassed. She grabs her head, but she cannot stop the broken memories of her behaviour from the night before.
At this point I'm thinking this must be another advert from the Frank campaign - the latest anti-drug series of adverts (Their website has an interesting game where you give drugs to a teenager). Behold youngster, see the danger of drugs and excess alcohol.
But wait, it's a Playstation advert.
I attended a party on Saturday that involved a similar (if slightly tamer) use of the Playstation - I think that one of the games from the advert was used where tunes had to be guessed. And let me tell you, it was rubbish. It was like playing guess the ringtone. (Ok, I lost, but that's not the point).
Playing the thing sober must be pretty damn dull - and maybe Playstation realise this. They aren't going to lie to us the consumer, they're going to tell it like it is. The only way you're going to wring any enjoyment from these overpriced pieces of plastic is by supplementing it with a considerable amount of alcohol. It's basically a serving suggestion.
Category:Advert
She surveys the room, shame and pain restricting her to using only one eye. Before her the aftermath of a particularly destructive party - scenes maybe not shown in an advert since the days of the Yellow Pages. Chairs lie upturned and snacks are strewn across the beer-sodden carpet.
Then the flashbacks start.
She's dancing on the table. She's screaming down a karaoke mike. She's gyrating in front of her friends who look on shocked and embarrassed. She grabs her head, but she cannot stop the broken memories of her behaviour from the night before.
At this point I'm thinking this must be another advert from the Frank campaign - the latest anti-drug series of adverts (Their website has an interesting game where you give drugs to a teenager). Behold youngster, see the danger of drugs and excess alcohol.
But wait, it's a Playstation advert.
I attended a party on Saturday that involved a similar (if slightly tamer) use of the Playstation - I think that one of the games from the advert was used where tunes had to be guessed. And let me tell you, it was rubbish. It was like playing guess the ringtone. (Ok, I lost, but that's not the point).
Playing the thing sober must be pretty damn dull - and maybe Playstation realise this. They aren't going to lie to us the consumer, they're going to tell it like it is. The only way you're going to wring any enjoyment from these overpriced pieces of plastic is by supplementing it with a considerable amount of alcohol. It's basically a serving suggestion.
Category:Advert
At Least They Were From A Northern Culture
The Express and Echo is host to a load of bad, bad, letters. Here is a selection.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Mobile Phones
I know that moaning about the proliferation of the mobile phone into our daily lives is sooo 2002, but there's a guy in the hallway outside my room who's been chatting away for the best part of 30 mins on speakerphone.
I can only think of three reasons why you want to talk on speakerphone in a public place.
1) You want to put the person on the other end of the phone in an embarrassing and possibly damaging position by broadcasting what they are saying to all and sundry.
2) You're so lazy you can't be bothered to lift your hand to your ear.
3) You think that your converstation is oh-so interesting that everyone wants to hear it.
I'm gonna count out number 2 because the guy is walking about. Therefore, you'd think this chap must have a desire for other people to hear what his friend is saying to him. So I stop my lunchtime dose of Bob Dylan and listen in.
And what do I find they're talking about?
Computer Science modules. For half an hour these guys have been discussing prerequisites, timetabling and course tutors. No scandal, slander or even swearing. Just chatting about the merits of taking COM2042 over COM2035.
Now I'm a rational man, but if they don't quit soon, to quote Bart - "Homer, better start diggin' some nerd holes."
They've stopped talking now. And relax...
I can only think of three reasons why you want to talk on speakerphone in a public place.
1) You want to put the person on the other end of the phone in an embarrassing and possibly damaging position by broadcasting what they are saying to all and sundry.
2) You're so lazy you can't be bothered to lift your hand to your ear.
3) You think that your converstation is oh-so interesting that everyone wants to hear it.
I'm gonna count out number 2 because the guy is walking about. Therefore, you'd think this chap must have a desire for other people to hear what his friend is saying to him. So I stop my lunchtime dose of Bob Dylan and listen in.
And what do I find they're talking about?
Computer Science modules. For half an hour these guys have been discussing prerequisites, timetabling and course tutors. No scandal, slander or even swearing. Just chatting about the merits of taking COM2042 over COM2035.
Now I'm a rational man, but if they don't quit soon, to quote Bart - "Homer, better start diggin' some nerd holes."
They've stopped talking now. And relax...
Panasonic
It's a fact of living in an affluent, consumeristic nation that we are presented with adverts that try to entice us into buying luxury items that are, to a large majority, unobtainably expensive (huge widescreen plasma televisions, brand new BMWs, Australia) or that we have little need for (a Dire Straits best of, 4x4 off road vehicles, IBM computer servers).
The latest Panasonic advert successfully manages to combine the two. What are they advertising? An MRI scanner. Admitedly I don't have much need for magnetic resonance imaging equipment, but the advert makes it look so enticing, damn it.
I guess there's always Christmas.
Category:Advert
The latest Panasonic advert successfully manages to combine the two. What are they advertising? An MRI scanner. Admitedly I don't have much need for magnetic resonance imaging equipment, but the advert makes it look so enticing, damn it.
I guess there's always Christmas.
Category:Advert
Cartoon of the Week - No. 2
This week a contribution from Speed Bump. It's not that funny, but as anyone who has been married to me knows, I like control of the remote. In fact I demand it.
Channel hopping is an art, like web surfing, and a experienced hopper is able to watch 3 or more programmes simultaneously, successfully not knowing what is going on in any of them. Sadly, it often will grow into an affliction and an addiction. Perfectly good programmes are shunned, just in case there is something else better on. Often it is known nothing else is on, but due to the medical condition Hoppicus Thumb, the sufferer will find they are helplessly caught in a cycle of unfinished programmes, hanging punchlines and half-heard choruses.
So at this time of year with the new autumn season of tv shows upon us, please consider those affected by this condition and donate to a worthy cause.
Category: Cartoon
Channel hopping is an art, like web surfing, and a experienced hopper is able to watch 3 or more programmes simultaneously, successfully not knowing what is going on in any of them. Sadly, it often will grow into an affliction and an addiction. Perfectly good programmes are shunned, just in case there is something else better on. Often it is known nothing else is on, but due to the medical condition Hoppicus Thumb, the sufferer will find they are helplessly caught in a cycle of unfinished programmes, hanging punchlines and half-heard choruses.
So at this time of year with the new autumn season of tv shows upon us, please consider those affected by this condition and donate to a worthy cause.
Category: Cartoon
Friday, November 04, 2005
Mark Kermode Film Reviews
I'm a big fan of Mark Kermode's film reviews - especially when he's a-ranting, like today against Elizabethtown. And the great thing is if you've missed it on Simon Mayo's Friday show on 5Live, you can listen to it again, or Podcast it, here.
Category: film
Category: film
Sunsilk
If you're a Christian, I think I'm right in saying that you believe in a loving and merciful God. Now the whole concept of Christianity raises a compendium of questions, and maybe in the top 10 is, "Hey, if He's so loving, why does bad stuff happen to good people?". It's a fair point and one that theologans and philosophers have considered for many years.
But now, I think, we may have an answer.
The Big Guy has begun a taking up a few advertising jobs. Who can blame him. Congregation takings are down, so he thinks to himself, "Hmm, if that Kerry Katona can get an advertising gig, just think how much money I could pull in. And that reminds me, the Iceland advert angers me, I must add it to my 'To Smite List.'"
He sends out his agent, expecting big pay outs. But what does his (now smote) agent get him? A crappy hair product called Sunsilk.
A woman is applying some chemical foam to her noggin. "Don't do it like that," booms the Lord, thinking back to the days when he used that voice to dish out commandments, "Put the mousse on a comb and pull it through the hair." You can hear the shame in his voice, "What have I come to", he asks himself, "I'm no better than Sharon Osbourne. Which remainds me I must add that Asda advert to my 'To Smite List'".
At the end of the month the pay cheque rolls in and eases the pain, as does some good old-fashioned smiting, but the real damage has been done elsewhere. Whilst the Good Lord has been learning his lines and sitting around on sets, he's taken his eyes off the game. He's done a Beckham and let external commitments get in the way of the job at hand.
Adverts solve another of the great questions.
Category:Advert
But now, I think, we may have an answer.
The Big Guy has begun a taking up a few advertising jobs. Who can blame him. Congregation takings are down, so he thinks to himself, "Hmm, if that Kerry Katona can get an advertising gig, just think how much money I could pull in. And that reminds me, the Iceland advert angers me, I must add it to my 'To Smite List.'"
He sends out his agent, expecting big pay outs. But what does his (now smote) agent get him? A crappy hair product called Sunsilk.
A woman is applying some chemical foam to her noggin. "Don't do it like that," booms the Lord, thinking back to the days when he used that voice to dish out commandments, "Put the mousse on a comb and pull it through the hair." You can hear the shame in his voice, "What have I come to", he asks himself, "I'm no better than Sharon Osbourne. Which remainds me I must add that Asda advert to my 'To Smite List'".
At the end of the month the pay cheque rolls in and eases the pain, as does some good old-fashioned smiting, but the real damage has been done elsewhere. Whilst the Good Lord has been learning his lines and sitting around on sets, he's taken his eyes off the game. He's done a Beckham and let external commitments get in the way of the job at hand.
Adverts solve another of the great questions.
Category:Advert
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Wade Punches Kemp, Gets Arrested
This has to be my favorite news story of the week so far. Rebecca Wade (editor of the loathsome Sun newspaper) has been arrested for assaulting her husband, TV's hardman Ross Kemp. Read about it here and here. And here is a discussion on the Sun's recent campaign against, er, domestic violence.
Category: News
Category: News
Bisto Night
I guess the new Bisto campaign is quite clever, in a Jamie Oliver kind of way (If that's not an oxymoron - only kidding, you're alright Jamie). Like Jimmy and his school dinners, Bisto have taken it on themselves to save British society from itself by getting everyone to pledge that they will spend one night a week having a proper meal with their family. It might buy them some time on Richard and Judy, and it's gimmicky enough to garner some press. There may even be some important issues that it raises about the state of the family unit and its role in a child's development, but that's a bit serious and has no place on this blog.
The ad itself tries to feature typical family members that we can identify with: Professional, tower block resident, farmer bloke, skater kids, two types of nerd, and some chavs. They read out a kind of vow. It's OK.
But the best bit is that Bisto have created a website to back it up. Here you can download a declaration-come-certificate that you can get your family to sign. Maybe you could turn it into a kind-of swearing in ceremony. (Wow, it was a year ago Bush won the US election - I can't believe it. That he won, that is.)
It gets better. Bisto have created a form so you can email a plea to your family members to join you for your family meal.
"Dear Father.
You are cordially invited to an evening meal with your family on Tuesday 1st December. Please bring a dessert, preferably complimentable with gravy.
Yours Sincerely,
Rory.
RSVP"
There is something inherently wrong with your family if you need to email members to arrange a meal time, and I don't think a tub of dehydrated chemicals is going to solve it.
Obviously, on signing the declaration, you agree to use Bisto in all your meals. Read the small print. But surely there is a limit to how many times you can have meat and two veg? Fear not, because Bisto also offer some family meal ideas, like Cheesy Tortillas. That's good eatin'.
Finally, this is as good an excuse as any to feature a funny letter from letterbomb.
Category:Advert
The ad itself tries to feature typical family members that we can identify with: Professional, tower block resident, farmer bloke, skater kids, two types of nerd, and some chavs. They read out a kind of vow. It's OK.
But the best bit is that Bisto have created a website to back it up. Here you can download a declaration-come-certificate that you can get your family to sign. Maybe you could turn it into a kind-of swearing in ceremony. (Wow, it was a year ago Bush won the US election - I can't believe it. That he won, that is.)
It gets better. Bisto have created a form so you can email a plea to your family members to join you for your family meal.
"Dear Father.
You are cordially invited to an evening meal with your family on Tuesday 1st December. Please bring a dessert, preferably complimentable with gravy.
Yours Sincerely,
Rory.
RSVP"
There is something inherently wrong with your family if you need to email members to arrange a meal time, and I don't think a tub of dehydrated chemicals is going to solve it.
Obviously, on signing the declaration, you agree to use Bisto in all your meals. Read the small print. But surely there is a limit to how many times you can have meat and two veg? Fear not, because Bisto also offer some family meal ideas, like Cheesy Tortillas. That's good eatin'.
Finally, this is as good an excuse as any to feature a funny letter from letterbomb.
Category:Advert
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Adventures in the Sandford Quiz - 1
I like regularly occuring aspects of blogs - it means that every so often I have an easy posting to make. Hence the "Comic of the Week" posting on Mondays. Today I've decided to add a second regular update - Adventures in the Sandford Quiz (ASQ).
On Sunday our team of four (Me, Helen and our Sandford based friends Allen and Catherine) won outright the Rose and Crown Quiz by 1/2 a point. It was nailbiting excitement all the way. We decided to pool our £16 winnings and put them towards a meal at the Crediton Tandoori on the weekend before Christmas. Therefore, we now have 3 more quizzes to top up our food-fund. How much will we end up with? Stay tuned to find out.
Here's last Sunday's quiz awards.
Best Crossed Out Answer of the Week: Swede for Turnip (Pre-pumpkin halloween veg.).
The "Where Did that Answer Come From?" Award: Catherine for her answer "Condoms" (Provided free to prisoners this week).
The Glad We Didn't Change It Award: Gary sticking to his guns with The British Empire (Largest ever empire).
The Allen Alexander "Are Your Sure About That?" Award - Allen for "Spandau Ballet" (in answer to the cryptic clue "Picture House Tune". He nearly convinced us Spandau was German slang for Cinema, but luckily inspiration hit and Gary got the correct answer "Roxy Music").
And finally, an episode from Sandford and Area Quizzes greatest hits. This week, a "You Wot???" moment from a sports round at The Lamb.
Question: Where were the 1998 Winter Olympics held?
Quizmaster's Answer: Syria.
Unsuprisingly, everyone got it wrong.
On Sunday our team of four (Me, Helen and our Sandford based friends Allen and Catherine) won outright the Rose and Crown Quiz by 1/2 a point. It was nailbiting excitement all the way. We decided to pool our £16 winnings and put them towards a meal at the Crediton Tandoori on the weekend before Christmas. Therefore, we now have 3 more quizzes to top up our food-fund. How much will we end up with? Stay tuned to find out.
Here's last Sunday's quiz awards.
Best Crossed Out Answer of the Week: Swede for Turnip (Pre-pumpkin halloween veg.).
The "Where Did that Answer Come From?" Award: Catherine for her answer "Condoms" (Provided free to prisoners this week).
The Glad We Didn't Change It Award: Gary sticking to his guns with The British Empire (Largest ever empire).
The Allen Alexander "Are Your Sure About That?" Award - Allen for "Spandau Ballet" (in answer to the cryptic clue "Picture House Tune". He nearly convinced us Spandau was German slang for Cinema, but luckily inspiration hit and Gary got the correct answer "Roxy Music").
And finally, an episode from Sandford and Area Quizzes greatest hits. This week, a "You Wot???" moment from a sports round at The Lamb.
Question: Where were the 1998 Winter Olympics held?
Quizmaster's Answer: Syria.
Unsuprisingly, everyone got it wrong.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Cowboy Tour Guides
When I was younger, I used to enjoy the Top 10 of Everything books. They would list things like the 10 Least Stressful Jobs (No.1 - Lecturer), Top 10 Baked Bean Consumers (No. 1 - Ireland) and Top 10 Worst Films Ever (No.1 - Love Actually). Such a reference book would have been useful on our recent trip to Cambridge.
Look at the following picture.
Now, can anyone tell me what the building on the left is?
Perhaps the more astute reader may have already noticed that I mentioned we were in Cambridge, and it doesn't take an architect to correctly identify it as a chapel. If you attended Cambridge University, visited there or possess a certain level of general knowledge, you might have even correctly named it as King's College Chapel. If you did, well done - top marks.
As this photo was being taken, a punt was passing on the river Cam that flows through the college grounds. This punt was a guided tour and at this point in the tour the guide announced:
"And here we can see King's College Chapel, the 10th most recognisable building in the World".
I didn't have my Top 10 of Everything 1991 to hand, but if I did, I would wager that under the section labelled "Top 10 Most Recognisable Buildings in the World", King's College's Chapel wouldn't have been making an appearance. I very much doubt it would even break the Top 10 for the British Isles. Maybe it would have made it into "The Top 10 Most Recognisable Buildings Viewable From a Punt Guided By a Lying Student", I don't know - I'll have to look it up.
The fact is this punter was abusing the tour guide - guidee relationship. The people in his punt didn't laugh or scoff at his statement. No eyebrows were furrowed, nor even raised. They seemed to take it as stated, most probably because they were under the belief that as a tour guide, this man must know what he's talking about.
Whether this expose will be featured on the next series of BBC 1's Rouge Tour Guides with Fiona Bruce, I don't know - I guess it's pretty likely - but until then, just be aware.
Look at the following picture.
Now, can anyone tell me what the building on the left is?
Perhaps the more astute reader may have already noticed that I mentioned we were in Cambridge, and it doesn't take an architect to correctly identify it as a chapel. If you attended Cambridge University, visited there or possess a certain level of general knowledge, you might have even correctly named it as King's College Chapel. If you did, well done - top marks.
As this photo was being taken, a punt was passing on the river Cam that flows through the college grounds. This punt was a guided tour and at this point in the tour the guide announced:
"And here we can see King's College Chapel, the 10th most recognisable building in the World".
I didn't have my Top 10 of Everything 1991 to hand, but if I did, I would wager that under the section labelled "Top 10 Most Recognisable Buildings in the World", King's College's Chapel wouldn't have been making an appearance. I very much doubt it would even break the Top 10 for the British Isles. Maybe it would have made it into "The Top 10 Most Recognisable Buildings Viewable From a Punt Guided By a Lying Student", I don't know - I'll have to look it up.
The fact is this punter was abusing the tour guide - guidee relationship. The people in his punt didn't laugh or scoff at his statement. No eyebrows were furrowed, nor even raised. They seemed to take it as stated, most probably because they were under the belief that as a tour guide, this man must know what he's talking about.
Whether this expose will be featured on the next series of BBC 1's Rouge Tour Guides with Fiona Bruce, I don't know - I guess it's pretty likely - but until then, just be aware.
Broken News
Broken News, debuting last night on BBC2 at 9:30, is a new comedy satarising the rolling and bulletin news that seems to have multiplied across our TV networks over the past decade at rate comparable to that of Tomato Flu. The show features a load of spoof news channels that are blatant pastiches of the BBC, ITN, Fox and local news reports.
I'm no TV reviewer, but I knows what I like and I really enjoyed this show. It'll be interesting to see if it can maintain interest over the rest of the series; the programme watches a bit like an impression show and ultimately there has to be strong material behind the initial laughs raised by the gimmick (a problem I have with Bremner, Dead Ringers and the dire McGowen). However, in the meantime, its punches at the news organisations were all spot on (BBC guy outside Greek hospital, ITV's stand up news, BBC3's 15 seconds, etc.)
My favorite has to be "Look Out East", which is so close to local news reporting if you chanced upon the show you might be fooled. Writing material for this segemnt must be easy - just watch the real thing. Which nicely leads to a cherished memory of mine of a Westcountry news report (a lunch time bulletin) from earlier this millennium. The top stories were:
- Cornish school children plant 12 daffodils for Princess Diana (This was two and half years after her death),
- A man had fitted a motor into a sofa and would be driving it around the roads of South Devon and Dorset the coming weekend,
- A family of ducks were causing minor hold ups on a B-road in Cornwall because they had crossed the road - twice.
I just love those stories - all 100% true. You couldn't make it up.
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