Ah, the Internet. Where would we be without it? Well not here, that’s for sure. But we are with it and, to quote a comic character that I never quite got, “It’s Brilliant!” Videos of He-man, dancing badgers, and Parsons Watch: surely one of the greatest “inventions” of the past twenty odd years. I guess we’ll have to wait for Jimmy Carr to confirm that for us.
But wait, is it really that good? A new, long advertisement would beg to differ. “I’m not liking this internet malarkey.” it says, “It is just a tool of the state to control our minds and watch our every move. Thieves are using it every minute of every day to steal your money, your identity and your collection of 52 Devon landmark bookmarks. Bullies are handing out cyber-wedgies to the e-youth. No, better off without it, don’t you think?”
Who would advertise in this way? The Royal Mail, perchance? High Street stores? Perhaps the purveyors of inky fanzines? No, no and no.
This advertisement is for AOL, an Internet service provider.
Hmmm, I’m obviously missing something here, but the advert made me want to use the Internet less. Well, not that much less, but it hardly sold it to me. Analogous advertising tactics would be for CheeseStrings to come out and say “It’s just rubber, really. It will take your child 20 years to digest it. Sure it saves having to make sandwiches, but is it really worth it?” or for the makers of SUVs saying “Come, ladies of Chelsea, your 4-ton metallic hulk may look good all polished up, but considering it requires its refinery to run, how about giving it up so that Tarquinian, Prickles and Cymbeline have some environment of their own to exploit when their older?”
I can think of two explanations for advertising in this apparently self-defeating way way. 1) AOL is going bankrupt and therefore aims to take the rest of the Internet down with it. Well, the royal we at SYi2 are on to them and won’t let it happen. 2) They’re using the old Big Brother tactic of creating irrational fear to make us buy their Internet security. Oh, how ironic!
On a different note, I figured out yesterday how wooden clothes pegs are meant to work. Ingenious.
From the safe surroundings of my Devon estate I poke fun at stuff whilst adding absolutely nothing to this world other than a smug sense of self-amusement.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Cartoon of the Week
Back to Dilbert for this week's cartoon.

I know that some people get really annoyed by mis-representation by American film-makers of the British. I can see if you're a veteran then it's a bit insulting. However, stuff like getting the places wrong in London or giving us bad accents really doesn't worry me. In fact, I tend to find it amusing. However, that changed this weekend when I watched Finding Neverland.
There is a brief cricket scene in it, the wrongness of which really annoyed me. J.M. Barrie is at a cricket match. Part way through the scene, the film shows a shot of the action where the batsman is clean bowled. The bowler appeals "Howzat!!!" and the umpire shakes his head no. Everyone celebrates and the batsman is out.
It's so friggin' stupid because:
1) If a player is clean bowled, you don't have to appeal. He's out.
2) Even if you do make some ironic appeal, maybe to rub it in to the hapless batsman, the umpire isn't going to say not out.
3) If the umpire does give him not out, why does the fielding team still celebrate and the batsman still walk?
I'm guessing that most people watching won't understand cricket (or, more likely, care), but may be able to gather that if the ball hits the stumps, the batsman is out. In addition, the "Howzat" cry is perhaps a quirk of the game that is also recognisable. Therefore the filmakers have included this sporting anomaly to satisfy the perception of the game of cricket. It's rubbish.
Thankfully I had calmed down enough to watch a second DVD this weekend, the superb City of God. Mrs P gave up after 1min 23 seconds due to the cutting of heads off chickens, which is a new record for her.

I know that some people get really annoyed by mis-representation by American film-makers of the British. I can see if you're a veteran then it's a bit insulting. However, stuff like getting the places wrong in London or giving us bad accents really doesn't worry me. In fact, I tend to find it amusing. However, that changed this weekend when I watched Finding Neverland.
There is a brief cricket scene in it, the wrongness of which really annoyed me. J.M. Barrie is at a cricket match. Part way through the scene, the film shows a shot of the action where the batsman is clean bowled. The bowler appeals "Howzat!!!" and the umpire shakes his head no. Everyone celebrates and the batsman is out.
It's so friggin' stupid because:
1) If a player is clean bowled, you don't have to appeal. He's out.
2) Even if you do make some ironic appeal, maybe to rub it in to the hapless batsman, the umpire isn't going to say not out.
3) If the umpire does give him not out, why does the fielding team still celebrate and the batsman still walk?
I'm guessing that most people watching won't understand cricket (or, more likely, care), but may be able to gather that if the ball hits the stumps, the batsman is out. In addition, the "Howzat" cry is perhaps a quirk of the game that is also recognisable. Therefore the filmakers have included this sporting anomaly to satisfy the perception of the game of cricket. It's rubbish.
Thankfully I had calmed down enough to watch a second DVD this weekend, the superb City of God. Mrs P gave up after 1min 23 seconds due to the cutting of heads off chickens, which is a new record for her.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Cash in the Attic
Every so often I can't be bothered to make the 8 mile trip to Exeter, so I work at home. Although I work damn hard at home, ahem, I do have the odd break. Dipping into and out of daytime television has reaquainted me with some decidedly dodgy shows. Like Noel Edmonds's "Deal or No Deal" which is so ridiculously simple that it is hard to explain to people who have never seen it because they can't believe that a 45 minute show could be made around the concept. In fact, a lot of people who have seen it have the same problem.
Then there are the multitude of talk shows: Trisha, Matthew Wright, Montel, Rikki Lake, some Ann Robinson lookalike, Springer, etc., etc. I thought most of these people were back working in call centres or whatever they did before they started parading the emotionally and mentally challenged to make other people stuck at home on a wednesday morning feel better about their own lives. But no, they're still there like it was 1999.
Perhaps suprisingly, these programmes don't disturb me as much as the innocuous looking "Cash in the Attic". I might be going out on a limb here, but I think that this programme demonstrates part of what is wrong with the world today.
The premise of the show is that a couple, with the help of an expert, remove from their home any item of antiquity that may have any value and sell it at auction. The money made is then used to fund some ridiculously transient activity.
Episodes I have seen have involved:
I would like a Cash in the Attic Revisted where we see these people return from their holiday, their tans faded. After a week at home, they realise that they have removed not only the only items of interest and character from their homes, but also stuff that that they actually liked and represented something to them more than a few extra pounds from an expensive cake can. And then I would like them tell their kids how much the items that they would have been left will be worth in 30 years time when they pop their clogs.
I accept I'm a bit of a sentamentalist, but here's a warning to future generations of Parsons. If any of you even think of selling any of my 52 collected bookmarks from the landmarks of Devon so that you can go to the Hoverball Solar Cup finals, I'm gonna haunt you good.
Category:Television
Then there are the multitude of talk shows: Trisha, Matthew Wright, Montel, Rikki Lake, some Ann Robinson lookalike, Springer, etc., etc. I thought most of these people were back working in call centres or whatever they did before they started parading the emotionally and mentally challenged to make other people stuck at home on a wednesday morning feel better about their own lives. But no, they're still there like it was 1999.
Perhaps suprisingly, these programmes don't disturb me as much as the innocuous looking "Cash in the Attic". I might be going out on a limb here, but I think that this programme demonstrates part of what is wrong with the world today.
The premise of the show is that a couple, with the help of an expert, remove from their home any item of antiquity that may have any value and sell it at auction. The money made is then used to fund some ridiculously transient activity.
Episodes I have seen have involved:
- a woman selling a table that had been in her family for four generations so she could celebrate her 35th Wedding Anniversary in Cyprus;
- a bloke indiscriminantly selling paintings from his father's painstakingly and thoughfully gathered private collection to buy a freaking Wedding cake for his daughter;
- and a couple selling their grandfather's war medals and ceremonial sword from the Boer war so that they could hold a speed-dating evening. Yee Gods.
I would like a Cash in the Attic Revisted where we see these people return from their holiday, their tans faded. After a week at home, they realise that they have removed not only the only items of interest and character from their homes, but also stuff that that they actually liked and represented something to them more than a few extra pounds from an expensive cake can. And then I would like them tell their kids how much the items that they would have been left will be worth in 30 years time when they pop their clogs.
I accept I'm a bit of a sentamentalist, but here's a warning to future generations of Parsons. If any of you even think of selling any of my 52 collected bookmarks from the landmarks of Devon so that you can go to the Hoverball Solar Cup finals, I'm gonna haunt you good.
Category:Television
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Happy Days
What a great day today is turning out to be. First I finally got my hands on the Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah! album, which is really quite superb. If you haven't heard them yet, why not lend an ear to the mp3s of "Over & Over Again (Lost and Found)" and "Upon this Tidal Wave of Young Blood", I don't think you'll be disappointed.
The second thing that has made my day is that our department has employed maybe the best named member of administration staff ever. Her name? Ms Demeanor. That might be enough for most people, but it gets better. Her first name is Foxy. Ms Foxy Demeanour. Superb. I was actually deleting her emails to us postgrads because I thought they were selling viagra, or offering hot girls in my area. But no, it really is her name. I might be slightly over-amused by this.
The second thing that has made my day is that our department has employed maybe the best named member of administration staff ever. Her name? Ms Demeanor. That might be enough for most people, but it gets better. Her first name is Foxy. Ms Foxy Demeanour. Superb. I was actually deleting her emails to us postgrads because I thought they were selling viagra, or offering hot girls in my area. But no, it really is her name. I might be slightly over-amused by this.
Warning
Just as a warning, I'm getting bored with the brown-ness of this blog and am going to start playing around with the general look of See You in 2... In the meantime, please do not adjust your computer monitor.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Neighbours
I know that watching Neighbours isn't something that you would normally advertise, but WTF was that all about tonight with plane crash!?! Angels singing, Conner praying in Latin and special effects from circa 1933. And how long was it before they hit the freaking sea? Best Episode Ever.
Chris Martin Q Interview
The only times I buy music magazines is when they have a free cd and/or a top 100 list that I can get infuriated by. I very rarely, if ever, bother to read interviews with rock stars. I bought the Chrimbo edition of Q so that I could get annoyed by their top albums of the year. Job done. Last night as I went to put it in the recycling, I happened across the Ricky Gervais/Chris Martin interview, which contained a superb display of musical ignorance by Chris.
Talking about the Coldplay videos:
RG: I love that light thing, by the way [pretends to swing
something around head; as in the Fix You video].
And I like it when you jump at the end. Your little jump.
You're like Bruce Foxton.
CM: Who? What, from [fashionable London Surrey company]
Foxtons estate agents?
RG: [Screaming with laughter] From a little group called The Jam?!
CM: Oh, right. Ha ha.
RG: You know Bruce, do you? Works in Foxtons estate agents?
Which one is that? Is that the one on Chalk Farm Road? Brilliant.
Yeah. How is he? Is he still playing bass?
CM: Don't put that in.
Does it matter that Chris Martin thought that part of the biggest selling band of the punk period was some Estate Agent Executive who does guitar star jumps in between selling country mansions to twits like, er, the Martins? Probably not. Do I find it more funny because I dislike Martin's music? Almost certainly.
Talking about the Coldplay videos:
RG: I love that light thing, by the way [pretends to swing
something around head; as in the Fix You video].
And I like it when you jump at the end. Your little jump.
You're like Bruce Foxton.
CM: Who? What, from [fashionable London Surrey company]
Foxtons estate agents?
RG: [Screaming with laughter] From a little group called The Jam?!
CM: Oh, right. Ha ha.
RG: You know Bruce, do you? Works in Foxtons estate agents?
Which one is that? Is that the one on Chalk Farm Road? Brilliant.
Yeah. How is he? Is he still playing bass?
CM: Don't put that in.
Does it matter that Chris Martin thought that part of the biggest selling band of the punk period was some Estate Agent Executive who does guitar star jumps in between selling country mansions to twits like, er, the Martins? Probably not. Do I find it more funny because I dislike Martin's music? Almost certainly.
Random Blogs I Get Sent To
Every so often, if I'm really bored, I'll click on the Next Blog button you can see up in the top corner. Although it is pretty rare I come across anything of interest, the occassional blog catches my attention. Yesterday I came across one such blog.
Our Love Story...

Anyone who was old enough to listen to Radio 1 in the 80s will no doubt remember Simon Bates, and in particular his segment Our Tune. For those unfamiliar with it, it featured a boken hearted listener writing in with some impossibly sad tale of lost love, which Simon would read out, followed by their choice of tune. The tales were in the vein of boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy suffers horrific digestive biscuit accident, girl dumps boy, girl marries member of Bucks Fizz, boy becomes obssessed stalker hassling radio stations to play "Lady in Red". You know how it goes.
Well, yesterday afternoon I happened across the blog equivilant of an Our Tune letter at Our Love Story.... Now I have the upmost sympathy for those that have loved and lost, I truly do, but this guy has obviously become unhinged. It's really sad, in a laughed-till-my-stomach-hurt kind of way. Maybe I'm just a heartless bastard, I don't know.
The whole website suggests this guy is on the brink (photos of tear-ridden tissues, the plinky-plink web music, the rolling messages in the status bar, the poetry) but my favorite has to be the homemade t-shirt he gave his ex for Christmas. Unfortunately he lost the "S" from the "Merry Xmas 2005" emblazoned across the front, thus creating a clothing item wishing a happy skin condition.
I'm not happy with myself finding amusement in someone else's misery and it isn't something I plan on making a habit of. I hope that, in some small way, by finding mirth in others sadness, that some of my laughter will find its way to them and stop them from cutting up Hello Kitty dolls and sending them in the post to their ex.
Our Love Story...

Anyone who was old enough to listen to Radio 1 in the 80s will no doubt remember Simon Bates, and in particular his segment Our Tune. For those unfamiliar with it, it featured a boken hearted listener writing in with some impossibly sad tale of lost love, which Simon would read out, followed by their choice of tune. The tales were in the vein of boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy suffers horrific digestive biscuit accident, girl dumps boy, girl marries member of Bucks Fizz, boy becomes obssessed stalker hassling radio stations to play "Lady in Red". You know how it goes.
Well, yesterday afternoon I happened across the blog equivilant of an Our Tune letter at Our Love Story.... Now I have the upmost sympathy for those that have loved and lost, I truly do, but this guy has obviously become unhinged. It's really sad, in a laughed-till-my-stomach-hurt kind of way. Maybe I'm just a heartless bastard, I don't know.
The whole website suggests this guy is on the brink (photos of tear-ridden tissues, the plinky-plink web music, the rolling messages in the status bar, the poetry) but my favorite has to be the homemade t-shirt he gave his ex for Christmas. Unfortunately he lost the "S" from the "Merry Xmas 2005" emblazoned across the front, thus creating a clothing item wishing a happy skin condition.
I'm not happy with myself finding amusement in someone else's misery and it isn't something I plan on making a habit of. I hope that, in some small way, by finding mirth in others sadness, that some of my laughter will find its way to them and stop them from cutting up Hello Kitty dolls and sending them in the post to their ex.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
At Least They Were From A North European Culture - No 2.
Express and Echo correspondents can be broadly categorised into two types. For most it provides a kind of sparring arena so that they can hone their vitriolic pens whilst waiting for the break onto the letter pages of the Daily Mail. On the other, much smaller side are the people who decide that it is upto them to provide some balance to the letters page by using those underhand tools of fact and reason to rubbish the outpourings of the vocal madmen (and women) of Exeter.
In my letter writing days I took the plight of asylum seekers as the area I would try and provide some balanced argument against some of the almost unbelievable letters that the Echo published. Others have taken on the causes of travellers, the smacking of children, speeding and national service. An important area is providing the case for not bringing back the death penalty - an issue dear to some Echo corresponedent's hearts.
So enter G R Holwill to give some balance to the calls for stringin' em up.
THE CASE AGAINST JUDICIAL MURDER
I wonder what Richard B Roberts thinks he will gain from the return of judicial murder as a form of revenge? It takes 20 years of appeal upon appeal, while lawyers grow fat and the taxpayer poorer, until every avenue of appeal is exhausted and a middle-aged man, a model prisoner and born against Christian, is taken out and executed for a crime he committed as a teenager.
Doh! Fine sentiment, but by arguing that after 20 years prisoners become anti-Christians is kind of undermining Holwill's point.
In my letter writing days I took the plight of asylum seekers as the area I would try and provide some balanced argument against some of the almost unbelievable letters that the Echo published. Others have taken on the causes of travellers, the smacking of children, speeding and national service. An important area is providing the case for not bringing back the death penalty - an issue dear to some Echo corresponedent's hearts.
So enter G R Holwill to give some balance to the calls for stringin' em up.
THE CASE AGAINST JUDICIAL MURDER
I wonder what Richard B Roberts thinks he will gain from the return of judicial murder as a form of revenge? It takes 20 years of appeal upon appeal, while lawyers grow fat and the taxpayer poorer, until every avenue of appeal is exhausted and a middle-aged man, a model prisoner and born against Christian, is taken out and executed for a crime he committed as a teenager.
Doh! Fine sentiment, but by arguing that after 20 years prisoners become anti-Christians is kind of undermining Holwill's point.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Cartoon of the Week - No. 6
Welcome back Cartoon of the Week, brought to us this week by Frazz. Frazz is a bit of a do-gooder and moraliser: afraid of getting a real job, he's a deluded singer songwriter and bad poet, living off his his attractive teacher wife/girlfriend. Hmm, that reminds me of someone...

This cartoon reminded me of a kind of scary blog that I was sent to. It was basically gun toting neo-con with pictures of Bush, bullets hitting stuff, etc etc. A lot of posts were dedicated to the second amendment to the US Constitution, the one that states that every person has the right to bear arms. As in guns, not appendages, obviously.
Around the time I came across it, the blog was enthusiastically promoting National Ammo Day - a day each year where people make a point of going to their local ammo supplier and emptying the shelves of all the bullets. Apparently this isn't crazy, but a way to show their support for their right to bear arms. As the website explains it is a BUYcott - the opposite of a boycott. See what they did there?
See the problem is, as the website points out, we only ever hear about the bad news related with guns, but never the good news. Um, what good news could there be? Well www.ammoday.com wonders why newspapers don't carry the story Gun not used to shoot person today? Good point.

This cartoon reminded me of a kind of scary blog that I was sent to. It was basically gun toting neo-con with pictures of Bush, bullets hitting stuff, etc etc. A lot of posts were dedicated to the second amendment to the US Constitution, the one that states that every person has the right to bear arms. As in guns, not appendages, obviously.
Around the time I came across it, the blog was enthusiastically promoting National Ammo Day - a day each year where people make a point of going to their local ammo supplier and emptying the shelves of all the bullets. Apparently this isn't crazy, but a way to show their support for their right to bear arms. As the website explains it is a BUYcott - the opposite of a boycott. See what they did there?
See the problem is, as the website points out, we only ever hear about the bad news related with guns, but never the good news. Um, what good news could there be? Well www.ammoday.com wonders why newspapers don't carry the story Gun not used to shoot person today? Good point.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Parsons Watch - Episode 5
Welcome to Parsons Watch - brought to you by SpanielInTheWorks.com, for all your dog-caused mechanical problems.
A Tony Writes:
The life of a Mirror columnist can't be easy. Week in, week out, you slave away at your article for a few pounds to supplement your flagging literary career. But damn the money - it is the recognition of his peers that every journalist requires. So congratulations to Tony who was bestowed with an award for his sterling work in 2005.
In recognition of his ability to not only provide an incredibly simplified insight of current events, but also to join imaginary dots and predict the future, Tony won the Mystic Mogg award from Private Eye magazine for his "Lock-of-the-week" prediction that Germaine Greer would win the last Celebrity Big Brother. She left the house the next day.
Parsons of the Week
Hello, it's Jack Parsons. Jack was a chemical wizzkid whose research into rocket fuel was, literally, one of the main drivers of the space race. However, putting men on the moon was not out-there enough for our Jack. Leaving science behind him, Jack began work on project Babalon, the aim of which was to to create a new age of free love by shattering the confines of four-dimensional space time.
Sadly the project failed at the second stage, which apparently involved reproduction between humans and monkeys to create a Moonchild. However, this failure only pushed Jack further. Taking the oath of the Antichrist, Parsons was loosed on the world to do the workings of the Beast 666. Unfortunately his work was cut short when he died in a mysterious explosion at his home. Theories concerning the explosion alledge it was an FBI plot (who had created a 130 page dossier about him), a mystical grudge or due to the large amount of explosives he kept in his garage.
Parsons in Music
Before Christmas we were forming the Greater Parsons Band. Gram was on vocals, Gene from the Byrds was drumming while Alan produced. Sadly, Kenneth wasn't allowed to join due to, as Dave puts it, "All that Mystic bollocks". This week we continue with the formation of the group with the addition of the renowned church organist, James Parsons.

James aims to bring not only his smugness to the group, but also some of the wizardry he has brought to performances in Peterborough of his signature piece "Minor Heroics in D# Major". His pedigree is indisputable, having toured a load of places outside Peterborough (including the unforgettable "No Sleep Till Walsall Tour, '99") and helping St Andrews Church in Helpringham get a new kitchen.
A Tony Writes:
The life of a Mirror columnist can't be easy. Week in, week out, you slave away at your article for a few pounds to supplement your flagging literary career. But damn the money - it is the recognition of his peers that every journalist requires. So congratulations to Tony who was bestowed with an award for his sterling work in 2005. In recognition of his ability to not only provide an incredibly simplified insight of current events, but also to join imaginary dots and predict the future, Tony won the Mystic Mogg award from Private Eye magazine for his "Lock-of-the-week" prediction that Germaine Greer would win the last Celebrity Big Brother. She left the house the next day.
Parsons of the Week
Hello, it's Jack Parsons. Jack was a chemical wizzkid whose research into rocket fuel was, literally, one of the main drivers of the space race. However, putting men on the moon was not out-there enough for our Jack. Leaving science behind him, Jack began work on project Babalon, the aim of which was to to create a new age of free love by shattering the confines of four-dimensional space time.Sadly the project failed at the second stage, which apparently involved reproduction between humans and monkeys to create a Moonchild. However, this failure only pushed Jack further. Taking the oath of the Antichrist, Parsons was loosed on the world to do the workings of the Beast 666. Unfortunately his work was cut short when he died in a mysterious explosion at his home. Theories concerning the explosion alledge it was an FBI plot (who had created a 130 page dossier about him), a mystical grudge or due to the large amount of explosives he kept in his garage.
Parsons in Music
Before Christmas we were forming the Greater Parsons Band. Gram was on vocals, Gene from the Byrds was drumming while Alan produced. Sadly, Kenneth wasn't allowed to join due to, as Dave puts it, "All that Mystic bollocks". This week we continue with the formation of the group with the addition of the renowned church organist, James Parsons.

James aims to bring not only his smugness to the group, but also some of the wizardry he has brought to performances in Peterborough of his signature piece "Minor Heroics in D# Major". His pedigree is indisputable, having toured a load of places outside Peterborough (including the unforgettable "No Sleep Till Walsall Tour, '99") and helping St Andrews Church in Helpringham get a new kitchen.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Adventures in the Wetherspoons Pub Quiz
OK, so they're reading out the final results. There must have been about 11 teams. Personally I don't want to be last, somewhere in the large middle grouping that seems to form at the W'Spoon quiz will be fine. For half the quiz it was only me and Mr Green, outnumbered by most teams by two, sometimes three, to one. Backup arrived midway through an unspectacular sports round in the shape of Mrs P, but at the end it didn't feel like we'd done any better than fine.
After about 5 or 6 teams being read out, we're safe. The way the pub works the quiz is that you do your six rounds and then everyone marks each others at the end. The team we marked got about 38, and we reckon we might have got a couple more than that, so should have saved face.
Still the team names are being read out and we haven't be mentioned. I start to get a bit nervous. The first round was a picture round, one of which was allegedly Ellen Macarthur. I was so Damn adamant that it wasn't her that I chose not to put down an answer. Of course, Ellen Macarthur was the right answer (according to the "quiz"). What if that one point means that we lose out? I begin to picture the shame.
The quiz guy says it's tight - in third place are a team on 40. It's not us. We came second, a point behind the winners.
But wait, all is not lost. Due to a rule change for 2006, the top two teams playoff in a tiebreak to see who will walk off with the jackpot.
The question: "How much did the Will Smith film take at the UK box office in 2005?". Well I couldn't remember hearing much about it, but knowing that average films tend to make anywhere between £10 and £35 million, we reckon a stinker like Hitch would have come in at about £15m.
"One team was very close, the other was way off", says Quizguy. "We had answers of £212m and £15m".
I reckon we've done it.
"The actual takings were £17.5 million."
The pub goes really quiet. The team with the most points after the actual quiz have lost to a small group of youngsters. I don't think anyone's that impressed. But hey, you don't win the Rose and Crown quiz three weeks in a row by worrying about what other teams think of you. Now I can sympathise with the losers: if it was me, I would have been disappointed to have lost on a tiebreak when we were clear winners. But dem de rules. And come on, £212 million!?!
Woohoo, W'Spoon quiz champions and £50 the richer. Result.
After about 5 or 6 teams being read out, we're safe. The way the pub works the quiz is that you do your six rounds and then everyone marks each others at the end. The team we marked got about 38, and we reckon we might have got a couple more than that, so should have saved face.
Still the team names are being read out and we haven't be mentioned. I start to get a bit nervous. The first round was a picture round, one of which was allegedly Ellen Macarthur. I was so Damn adamant that it wasn't her that I chose not to put down an answer. Of course, Ellen Macarthur was the right answer (according to the "quiz"). What if that one point means that we lose out? I begin to picture the shame.
The quiz guy says it's tight - in third place are a team on 40. It's not us. We came second, a point behind the winners.
But wait, all is not lost. Due to a rule change for 2006, the top two teams playoff in a tiebreak to see who will walk off with the jackpot.
The question: "How much did the Will Smith film take at the UK box office in 2005?". Well I couldn't remember hearing much about it, but knowing that average films tend to make anywhere between £10 and £35 million, we reckon a stinker like Hitch would have come in at about £15m.
"One team was very close, the other was way off", says Quizguy. "We had answers of £212m and £15m".
I reckon we've done it.
"The actual takings were £17.5 million."
The pub goes really quiet. The team with the most points after the actual quiz have lost to a small group of youngsters. I don't think anyone's that impressed. But hey, you don't win the Rose and Crown quiz three weeks in a row by worrying about what other teams think of you. Now I can sympathise with the losers: if it was me, I would have been disappointed to have lost on a tiebreak when we were clear winners. But dem de rules. And come on, £212 million!?!
Woohoo, W'Spoon quiz champions and £50 the richer. Result.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Cigars and Also-Rans
The strength of 2005 musically is shown not only by the greatness of my top 10 list, but also by the plethora of albums that I didn’t have space to include. We shall now honour those albums.
The Next Five
Kaiser Chiefs – Employment
Containing two of the best singles of the year (Oh My God! and I Predict a Riot), the album was let down by some of its weaker fare.
Babyshambles – Down in Albion
This album was on the list until Devendra and Josh Rouse came along and kicked Pete’s butt out of the bottom the chart. His persona doesn’t affect my opinion on his music - I'm not an apologist, I just don't care what he gets upto. For me, what matters is that the album contains a lot of the elements that I enjoyed so much from the Libertines albums. Most unforgivable for me is the reggae track.
Anthony and the Johnsons – I Am a Bird Now
Reminding me of one of my all time favourite female singers, Nina Simone (which has to be good), I do have to be in the right mood for this album, but when I am it impresses.
White Stripes – Get Behind Me Satan
An excellent album that was unfortunate not to make the top ten. I'm always astounded by what they have done with what is such a basic sound and they continue to sound inventive and fresh.
Weezer – Make Believe
I’m such a big fan of Weezer from Blue to Green that perhaps it made it more difficult for me to fully appreciate this album. The songwritings strong, but there’s something that didn’t quite click with me as it did on their first 3 efforts.
You Could Have Been A Contender
Albums from perennial favourites (Supergrass, Beck and Smog) and new artists I heard bits from but that I just didn’t get around to buying. I have no doubt there are some great albums here, but, hey, I can’t afford them all.
Supergrass – Road to Rouen
Smog – A River Ain’t Too Much to Love
Clor - Clor
Beck - Guero
Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
Raveonettes – Pretty in Black
Honourable Mentions
Albums that I have fully enjoyed, but didn’t quite stand out against the greats of 2005 to warrant inclusion.
The Magic Numbers – The Magic Numbers
Mercury Rev – The Secret Migration
British Sea Power – Open Season
The Editors – The Editors
Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams (provided a great soundtrack to an outdoor summer fondue party)
Finally, special mention to Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!. I'm confused to wether they have released their album here yet (some say last September - but that may have been on import onky - others say next January), so it might have to be included retrospectively. Hoorah for the emergence of Talking Heads inspired bands!
Category:Music
The Next Five
Kaiser Chiefs – Employment
Containing two of the best singles of the year (Oh My God! and I Predict a Riot), the album was let down by some of its weaker fare.
Babyshambles – Down in Albion
This album was on the list until Devendra and Josh Rouse came along and kicked Pete’s butt out of the bottom the chart. His persona doesn’t affect my opinion on his music - I'm not an apologist, I just don't care what he gets upto. For me, what matters is that the album contains a lot of the elements that I enjoyed so much from the Libertines albums. Most unforgivable for me is the reggae track.
Anthony and the Johnsons – I Am a Bird Now
Reminding me of one of my all time favourite female singers, Nina Simone (which has to be good), I do have to be in the right mood for this album, but when I am it impresses.
White Stripes – Get Behind Me Satan
An excellent album that was unfortunate not to make the top ten. I'm always astounded by what they have done with what is such a basic sound and they continue to sound inventive and fresh.
Weezer – Make Believe
I’m such a big fan of Weezer from Blue to Green that perhaps it made it more difficult for me to fully appreciate this album. The songwritings strong, but there’s something that didn’t quite click with me as it did on their first 3 efforts.
You Could Have Been A Contender
Albums from perennial favourites (Supergrass, Beck and Smog) and new artists I heard bits from but that I just didn’t get around to buying. I have no doubt there are some great albums here, but, hey, I can’t afford them all.
Supergrass – Road to Rouen
Smog – A River Ain’t Too Much to Love
Clor - Clor
Beck - Guero
Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
Raveonettes – Pretty in Black
Honourable Mentions
Albums that I have fully enjoyed, but didn’t quite stand out against the greats of 2005 to warrant inclusion.
The Magic Numbers – The Magic Numbers
Mercury Rev – The Secret Migration
British Sea Power – Open Season
The Editors – The Editors
Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams (provided a great soundtrack to an outdoor summer fondue party)
Finally, special mention to Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!. I'm confused to wether they have released their album here yet (some say last September - but that may have been on import onky - others say next January), so it might have to be included retrospectively. Hoorah for the emergence of Talking Heads inspired bands!
Category:Music
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
THE Album List of 2005
Right, so Christmas severely dented my blogging. December the 18th - wow, that seems a long time ago. Anyway, a very fine Christmas and New Year was had, thanks for asking.
I have been looking forward to getting back into my blogging, mainly because 2005 was the first year that I could put together a serious list of my top 10 albums. I've been thinking about it a lot, and it's definitely the rightest list of albums I've seen all year, thus I feel justified in calling it THE Album List of 2005.
So, without further ado, my top 10 original recordings released in the UK in 2005.
10. Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise

We start with the album I had most difficulty placing - over the past couple of weeks I've been thinking about this list it has been at number 2 right down to off the chart. Even now, I feel it unfair to pin it down at number 10 and I find it hard to believe, until I read the rest of the list, that I'm saying that there are 9 better albums this year. At times this album has annoyed me with it's "film music" interludes, the way it can pass me by and its length. But then on another day I'm amazed by its invention and how well it all hangs together and I don't want it to end. Thankfully, I'm beginning to always find myself in the latter.
9. Devendra Banhart - Cripple Crow

Wow, only two albums in and we've covered 44 tracks and have 2 and half hours of music. That's value. I had no idea who DB (as I'll take liberty of calling him) was until a chance encounter on a magazine CD. Like Sufjan, it always seems inventive, grabbing styles and incorporating them into the root folksy sound. However, the thing that strikes me most about the album is how much fun it is. It's the sound of a guy enjoying himself and his music, and it's freaking infective. This album makes me grin incessantly. And bob and jiggle. Basically it makes me look like an idiot. And I don't care.
8. Josh Rouse - Nashville

A bit like a Ben Kweller, but older and wiser, Josh Rouse has produced an album that I think of as being just, well, gorgeous. Like the greatest album ever (a prize to anyone who guesses it) Nashville takes in the break-up of a marriage, as well as a kind of ode to the city of the title, and this results in songs full of wistfulness and emotions, but only in the very best of ways. At times acoustic and downbeat, at others rythmic and unashamedly pop, in the way that pop can be so lush and layered, the album links into one big ball of musical accomplishment whilst always being honest and never prosaic or dreary.
7. Super Furry Animals - Love Kraft

Aah, the Furries. One of a handful of bands that have stuck with me since my early days of music listening, and one which rarely lets me down. Like their previous album (and most probably my album of 2003) "Phantom Power", I initially dismissed "Love Kraft" as being overly polished. However, I knew better this time, and soon I was realising how strong a songwriting group SFA have become. Lyrically they are always interesting and reasuringly wierd, whilst sounding musically rich and lush and full of ideas. Which for a band on their 7th album (or so) is something to admire and rejoice in.
6. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better

It's ridiculous, I know, but I was kind of worried for Franz. I really liked the first album, and seeing them live at the tail-end of 2004 made for a memorable birthday. However I could picture the reviews for their second album - more of the same, not as good as the first. I had readied myself for disappointment when I stuck the new album in the CD player.
32 seconds later I couldn't remember what I'd been worried about.
Opening track "The Fallen" said to me "Why did you doubt us? We're Franz and we're going to freaking enjoy ourselves". Hoorah!
After the relief of knowing that the album wasn't a dud, further listens have revealed a great album that holds together SO well, something that it has over the first. It actually shows a development, and in this modern world of super debuts follwed by crushing sophomore efforts, that's something to be glad for.
5. The National - Alligator

Given a couple more weeks, I reckon this album could be in the top 3 - but then I look at the top 3 and I'm not so sure. Either way, it is undeniable that this is a very strong album. Initial listens bring to mind Interpol, but perhaps less dense. Further plays reveal poetic, bleak lyrics that are delivered in the only way possible - a Nick Cave/Ian Curtis growl, but maybe more melodic. The music supplies excellent support, and develops over subsequent listens as something brilliantly subtle and intertwined, with strings, guitars and piano reflecting the frustation held by the lyrics, sometimes resolving gently, and at others boiling over.
Stylus magazine wrote in a review that "If Chris Martin wrote songs and made records as if he were the bully and not the kid getting his lunch money stolen, Coldplay would sound like The National." The National aren't like Coldplay at all, but I like the idea of the National stealing Chris Martin's money, fans and popular adoration, before giving him a darn good wedgie and pushing him in the girl's toilets.
4. The Features - Exhibit A

The glory of having a brother who is capable of discovering great bands that I would not usually have ever come across, and then perservering with playing the album at me until it finally won me over. Lee (and Mani), I thank you.
Why it took me so long to get the Features, I'm not quite sure. Listening to the album now, it is so immediate - it has that beautiful quality of having songs that I am convinced I've heard before. To describe it, because I'm not sure how many people know about them, I guess the Features fall into the Weezer/Fountains of Wayne camp, but not at all "Geeky", and much more influenced by the Kinks and the Who of the British Invasion. Each track is a perfect exponent of its type, with handclaps and drum breaks and crunching guitars and yelps all in the right places, whilst at no time seeming anything less than fresh and exhuberent. Superb.
3. Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary

"Boom. Ch. Boom-Ch-Boom-Ch"
And so starts the best opening album track of the year. I honestly believe I could have had the first 37 seconds of this track and I would have been happy. It's just so damned good - it demands you listen to it.
In some ways, liking the first track so much made it difficult for me to get into the rest of the album. I waited a couple of months between collecting a few of MP3s from the web and actually buying the album, and with Arcade Fire links etc., I built it up into something that it couldn't fulfil. However, once I approached it anew, casting aside the hype I'd managed to collect, I realised that it is as good as I could have hoped for, with the kind of powerful songs that I'm a real sucker for. The links with Arcade Fire arise from the delivery of the song, the franticism of delivering the lyric with real feeling, so that although you may be not so sure that you know the words, you sure as dammit understand them.
Musically, there isn't that much of a link with the Arcade Fire, with Modest Mouse providing the indeniable main influence. This is by no means detrimental, but rather shows how music can be inspired by a source, but take it somewhere different and equally interesting.
However, I think that perhaps Wolf Parade, talking with Win Butler and Issac Brock, should have the final say, taken from the album's press release:
"And so together the four of them [Wolf Parade] made sweet nonsensical music that sounded like a bullfight, only where the bull is a gorilla and the matador is a robot precariously holding a baby and all the spectators are eagles and whales with laser beams fore eyes and everybody cries when the gorilla dies."
And you know what that does, in a very, very drunken and weird way, sum up the album for me. Or perhaps not.
2. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

Thank you Devon County Council for Crediton library. The music section has introduced me to bands that I would never have bothered with, or maybe even come across. Currently I'm listening to the Editors thanks to their loaning system. Other stuff I've had access to for a single golden nugget have included Sigor Ros, Mars Volta, Ed Harcourt and Fog (some of which I loved - Mr Harcourt - others that were, er, poor - Mr Fog). However, the greatest discovery was Conor Oberst, or his incarnation as Bright Eyes for this excellent recording.
Lyrically, I love this album. I like the fact that they're not always perfect or original, but coupled with his delivery they just seem so God damned honest. At times they may seem so simple as to be ridiculous, but, for me, they are about as spot on a commentary on what's going on around us as anyone's got.
I read in a year review that if only the music was as strong as the lyrics. Couldn't disagree more. This year I have begun on the slippery slope that is Country music. I've embraced Johnny Cash and Gram Parsons. It is the country tinge that I found in this album that made me enjoy it so much. It adds to the lyrics and can drive them along, or wallows with them, slipping between despair and some form of hope. The teaming with Emmylou Harris is great and the album superbly switches gears between the melancholic plodding of "Lua" and the unstoppable chug of "Another Travellin' Song". Any other year, it would have been top. However...
1. Arcade Fire - Funeral

One album alone stood head and shoulders above everything else this year. I'll entertain arguments about the other positionings in this list, but there is No Doubt that the Arcade Fire produced the album of the year. It's a fact.
I'm not going to bother reviewing it, or saying what it is that I like about the album so much because I think that a lot has been said about it already, and to try and distill the album into elements that describe why I liked it so much would take something away from it for me. Suffice to say that it was the first album for a long while that really excited me from the first piano chords of "Neighbourhood #1" to the last strum of "In the Backseat". I became a devoted fan of a band again, something I haven't been since... well, a while ago. I enjoyed copying it for friends and trying to appear nonchalant at their opinions. I revelled in the good reviews - scowled at those anything less than adoring.
That has passed now, but my opinion of the album remains. In a year of great music, much of what I've loved about the rest of the top ten I find in this album - emotion, musical brilliance, superb songwriting, honesty, power, etc. etc. The perfect example of my musical tastes, and I guess in a personal top 10, there's no getting better than that.
And so there we have it: my top ten. Apologies if at times I gushed, talked rubbish or succumed to hyperbole, (I aimed for all three) but I found that that was what the music of 2005 did to me. And it felt good.
Category:Music
I have been looking forward to getting back into my blogging, mainly because 2005 was the first year that I could put together a serious list of my top 10 albums. I've been thinking about it a lot, and it's definitely the rightest list of albums I've seen all year, thus I feel justified in calling it THE Album List of 2005.
So, without further ado, my top 10 original recordings released in the UK in 2005.
10. Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise

We start with the album I had most difficulty placing - over the past couple of weeks I've been thinking about this list it has been at number 2 right down to off the chart. Even now, I feel it unfair to pin it down at number 10 and I find it hard to believe, until I read the rest of the list, that I'm saying that there are 9 better albums this year. At times this album has annoyed me with it's "film music" interludes, the way it can pass me by and its length. But then on another day I'm amazed by its invention and how well it all hangs together and I don't want it to end. Thankfully, I'm beginning to always find myself in the latter.
9. Devendra Banhart - Cripple Crow

Wow, only two albums in and we've covered 44 tracks and have 2 and half hours of music. That's value. I had no idea who DB (as I'll take liberty of calling him) was until a chance encounter on a magazine CD. Like Sufjan, it always seems inventive, grabbing styles and incorporating them into the root folksy sound. However, the thing that strikes me most about the album is how much fun it is. It's the sound of a guy enjoying himself and his music, and it's freaking infective. This album makes me grin incessantly. And bob and jiggle. Basically it makes me look like an idiot. And I don't care.
8. Josh Rouse - Nashville

A bit like a Ben Kweller, but older and wiser, Josh Rouse has produced an album that I think of as being just, well, gorgeous. Like the greatest album ever (a prize to anyone who guesses it) Nashville takes in the break-up of a marriage, as well as a kind of ode to the city of the title, and this results in songs full of wistfulness and emotions, but only in the very best of ways. At times acoustic and downbeat, at others rythmic and unashamedly pop, in the way that pop can be so lush and layered, the album links into one big ball of musical accomplishment whilst always being honest and never prosaic or dreary.
7. Super Furry Animals - Love Kraft

Aah, the Furries. One of a handful of bands that have stuck with me since my early days of music listening, and one which rarely lets me down. Like their previous album (and most probably my album of 2003) "Phantom Power", I initially dismissed "Love Kraft" as being overly polished. However, I knew better this time, and soon I was realising how strong a songwriting group SFA have become. Lyrically they are always interesting and reasuringly wierd, whilst sounding musically rich and lush and full of ideas. Which for a band on their 7th album (or so) is something to admire and rejoice in.
6. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better

It's ridiculous, I know, but I was kind of worried for Franz. I really liked the first album, and seeing them live at the tail-end of 2004 made for a memorable birthday. However I could picture the reviews for their second album - more of the same, not as good as the first. I had readied myself for disappointment when I stuck the new album in the CD player.
32 seconds later I couldn't remember what I'd been worried about.
Opening track "The Fallen" said to me "Why did you doubt us? We're Franz and we're going to freaking enjoy ourselves". Hoorah!
After the relief of knowing that the album wasn't a dud, further listens have revealed a great album that holds together SO well, something that it has over the first. It actually shows a development, and in this modern world of super debuts follwed by crushing sophomore efforts, that's something to be glad for.
5. The National - Alligator

Given a couple more weeks, I reckon this album could be in the top 3 - but then I look at the top 3 and I'm not so sure. Either way, it is undeniable that this is a very strong album. Initial listens bring to mind Interpol, but perhaps less dense. Further plays reveal poetic, bleak lyrics that are delivered in the only way possible - a Nick Cave/Ian Curtis growl, but maybe more melodic. The music supplies excellent support, and develops over subsequent listens as something brilliantly subtle and intertwined, with strings, guitars and piano reflecting the frustation held by the lyrics, sometimes resolving gently, and at others boiling over.
Stylus magazine wrote in a review that "If Chris Martin wrote songs and made records as if he were the bully and not the kid getting his lunch money stolen, Coldplay would sound like The National." The National aren't like Coldplay at all, but I like the idea of the National stealing Chris Martin's money, fans and popular adoration, before giving him a darn good wedgie and pushing him in the girl's toilets.
4. The Features - Exhibit A

The glory of having a brother who is capable of discovering great bands that I would not usually have ever come across, and then perservering with playing the album at me until it finally won me over. Lee (and Mani), I thank you.
Why it took me so long to get the Features, I'm not quite sure. Listening to the album now, it is so immediate - it has that beautiful quality of having songs that I am convinced I've heard before. To describe it, because I'm not sure how many people know about them, I guess the Features fall into the Weezer/Fountains of Wayne camp, but not at all "Geeky", and much more influenced by the Kinks and the Who of the British Invasion. Each track is a perfect exponent of its type, with handclaps and drum breaks and crunching guitars and yelps all in the right places, whilst at no time seeming anything less than fresh and exhuberent. Superb.
3. Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary

"Boom. Ch. Boom-Ch-Boom-Ch"
And so starts the best opening album track of the year. I honestly believe I could have had the first 37 seconds of this track and I would have been happy. It's just so damned good - it demands you listen to it.
In some ways, liking the first track so much made it difficult for me to get into the rest of the album. I waited a couple of months between collecting a few of MP3s from the web and actually buying the album, and with Arcade Fire links etc., I built it up into something that it couldn't fulfil. However, once I approached it anew, casting aside the hype I'd managed to collect, I realised that it is as good as I could have hoped for, with the kind of powerful songs that I'm a real sucker for. The links with Arcade Fire arise from the delivery of the song, the franticism of delivering the lyric with real feeling, so that although you may be not so sure that you know the words, you sure as dammit understand them.
Musically, there isn't that much of a link with the Arcade Fire, with Modest Mouse providing the indeniable main influence. This is by no means detrimental, but rather shows how music can be inspired by a source, but take it somewhere different and equally interesting.
However, I think that perhaps Wolf Parade, talking with Win Butler and Issac Brock, should have the final say, taken from the album's press release:
"And so together the four of them [Wolf Parade] made sweet nonsensical music that sounded like a bullfight, only where the bull is a gorilla and the matador is a robot precariously holding a baby and all the spectators are eagles and whales with laser beams fore eyes and everybody cries when the gorilla dies."
And you know what that does, in a very, very drunken and weird way, sum up the album for me. Or perhaps not.
2. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

Thank you Devon County Council for Crediton library. The music section has introduced me to bands that I would never have bothered with, or maybe even come across. Currently I'm listening to the Editors thanks to their loaning system. Other stuff I've had access to for a single golden nugget have included Sigor Ros, Mars Volta, Ed Harcourt and Fog (some of which I loved - Mr Harcourt - others that were, er, poor - Mr Fog). However, the greatest discovery was Conor Oberst, or his incarnation as Bright Eyes for this excellent recording.
Lyrically, I love this album. I like the fact that they're not always perfect or original, but coupled with his delivery they just seem so God damned honest. At times they may seem so simple as to be ridiculous, but, for me, they are about as spot on a commentary on what's going on around us as anyone's got.
I read in a year review that if only the music was as strong as the lyrics. Couldn't disagree more. This year I have begun on the slippery slope that is Country music. I've embraced Johnny Cash and Gram Parsons. It is the country tinge that I found in this album that made me enjoy it so much. It adds to the lyrics and can drive them along, or wallows with them, slipping between despair and some form of hope. The teaming with Emmylou Harris is great and the album superbly switches gears between the melancholic plodding of "Lua" and the unstoppable chug of "Another Travellin' Song". Any other year, it would have been top. However...
1. Arcade Fire - Funeral

One album alone stood head and shoulders above everything else this year. I'll entertain arguments about the other positionings in this list, but there is No Doubt that the Arcade Fire produced the album of the year. It's a fact.
I'm not going to bother reviewing it, or saying what it is that I like about the album so much because I think that a lot has been said about it already, and to try and distill the album into elements that describe why I liked it so much would take something away from it for me. Suffice to say that it was the first album for a long while that really excited me from the first piano chords of "Neighbourhood #1" to the last strum of "In the Backseat". I became a devoted fan of a band again, something I haven't been since... well, a while ago. I enjoyed copying it for friends and trying to appear nonchalant at their opinions. I revelled in the good reviews - scowled at those anything less than adoring.
That has passed now, but my opinion of the album remains. In a year of great music, much of what I've loved about the rest of the top ten I find in this album - emotion, musical brilliance, superb songwriting, honesty, power, etc. etc. The perfect example of my musical tastes, and I guess in a personal top 10, there's no getting better than that.
And so there we have it: my top ten. Apologies if at times I gushed, talked rubbish or succumed to hyperbole, (I aimed for all three) but I found that that was what the music of 2005 did to me. And it felt good.
Category:Music
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